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Released 2011-08-15 01:56:47 -0400
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In 1754, a Dutch explorer by the name of Johann Faberge discovered a small archipelago of uninhabited islands just north of New Zealand. The islands soon became known as the Faberge Islands and exploitation commenced almost immediately. In their search for spices, however, the colonists soon began to come across large, ornate eggs. Each egg was unique, possessing bold colors and, in some cases, what appeared to be hand-painted scenes. Many were adorned in jewels and a golden overlay. But perhaps the most remarkable of the eggs' features was the hatching. Instead of breaking apart, the egg opened slowly at its circumference, revealing a tiny chick inside, sleeping peacefully on silken pillows. Minature works art adorned the inside of the egg walls, and, in rare instances, it was reported that a small golden carriage would suddenly appear from the bushes and whisk the newly hatched chick away. Once the chick was gone, the egg would close, its purpose completed, its shell completely pristine.


Colonists were puzzled by the eggs. The Faberge Islands had been uninhabited until European arrival. What magnificent creature could produce such glorious works of art? The colonists soon discovered the answer.


The Magnificent Rainbow-crested Titbird, or the Magnificent Titty for short, was a large, exotic bird native to the Faberge Islands. Due to its size, the Magnificent Titty could not fly and was therefore confined to the Faberge archipelago. News of these fantastic birds spread across Europe, and soon, people could not get enough of the Magnificent Titties. As British explorer Archibald Pittinstock wrote in a letter dated September 14, 1761, "Spotted a pair of Magnificent Titties in the jungle today. Weren't they grand! Captain Jensen has a pair I simply can't take my eyes off. I am determined not to leave these islands until I get my own hands on a pair of Magnificent Titties."


Recognizing the value of the eggs and therefore the importance of cultivating an environment where Magnificent Titties could flourish and procreate, exploitation of the Faberge archipelago was scaled back. Breeders arrived and began developing open range farms for the birds. Once the hatchlings emerged from their celestial nesteggs, the eggs were prepared for exportation to Europe and the emerging colonies in the Americas, where they sold as luxury items and became known colloquially as Faberge Eggs.


 


 

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