Again, Albert? Audiences call your accolades, your awards, your accomplishments "astonishing." Atrocious is more appropriate

because it's all bullshit. Boring and bothersome, your breakdown of ants is, to put it bluntly, bad.

Careful, though. To counter a "clever" and "crafty" curator of crappy correspondence considering cooties is, well, criminal.

And despite your dumb and dorky endeavor, you continue to debilitate dames, dumbfounding them into dating an 

especially egocentric yet rarely erroneous (much to my enmity) employee of inquiry.

Fine. If failure is my fortune, than how fortunate failure shall feel that I 

grace its grossest, grief-stricken gardens with my 

honorary inhabitance… Aw, hell, who am I kidding? How do you do it, Albert?! Was it happenstance or did you

inherit intellect from idols, from icons? Because Albert, in all honesty, to ignore your issuance regarding insects would inevitably be an injustice to our modern intellect!

Just genius. Just jaw dropping. Your justifications are justly genius, 

candid and clever and incredibly quick! Keeping kin and folk keen to the

labyrinth of lore you laboriously look into is no 

miniscule mission. Most men ignore me whereas they

never neglect your intuition, your insight. Now, I need to know:

Open your opulent oblongata to me and offer your most 

precious, private, privileged pieces of propitious help!

...

Hm. Quite the qualm. I must quadruple both the quality and quantity of my workload to qualify anywhere near your intellectual

Reach? Really… I’m really disagreeing with your report regarding the requisite rise in responsibility right now.

So, instead, let's continue to slander one another, yes? Sabotage and strife are sections of life

that I need not try so hard at! Tackling transcendent thoughts may satisfy your time, but do not 

underestimate my ultimate need to undo you. Also, you're ugly.

Very ugly, in fact. My vendetta will not be vanquished and your hope for victory is in vain.

...

What?! who said winning won't matter? It's a widely welcome truth only washouts and wrecks write off winning. Speaking of which,

your ex says your xylophone playing "skills" are extremely exagerated and that Peter, your xerox copy is 

young and youthful, yes, but also yellow-bellied and yucky. He's nothing more than a 

ZERO. ZING! Ah, zeriously though, I'm gonna catch some Z's while you wish you could be as zealous, as zesty, as zippy as me. Your brain is much more suited to be grazed on by zombies.