I Had a Heart Once (Expansion Concept)
Here is a fairly barebones outline of an idea for how to stitch together the great material we have here so far, into something larger.
Let's consider this an experiment in specifically trying to take advantage of synergy within text REmixing. The various contributions should come together to be greater than our individual contributions.
As I said, this is barebones and sketchy, so I specifically invite others to flesh it out, expand it. Also, I am uncertain about my ability to write believable dialog between two women, so feel free to improve upon that.
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Laura comes home from work. On the porch, she finds an unexpected overnight package. She glances at the return address, with a mixture of hope and concern.
Inside, she opens the package and finds a DVD. She pops it in and sits down to watch.
Cut to Metaphorest's original scene.
Back to Laura in her apartment. She turns off the player, and begins to weep.
Her cellphone wrings. She glances at the caller ID, Natalie. She lets it wring a couple of times, deciding, then abruptly answers it.
Before Laura can say anything, Natalie yells "Happy birthday! Hey, we're here, where are you? Are you on your way?"
Laura answers. "Oh, um, sorry I'm running a little late. I got... tied up."
Natalie hears the sadness in Laura's voice. "What's wrong? You sound like you've been crying. Are you ok?"
"I... I'll be ok. It's just... I got a package today. A message, video message."
Natalie, now much more concerned, asks "Message? From who? What happened?"
"It's from John."
"John! That bastard! He's got a lot of nerve sending you anything today. We are not going to let him ruin your birthday. What does he want?"
"He told me it can never work and I should forget about him."
"We'll hallelujah! At least he's got some sense. Now forget about him, and come on down here. This is girls night, no men to worry about tonight."
"I know, I should let it go. We were terrible together. Well, not all the time...."
Natalie cuts her off. "Are you coming over? We're all waiting."
"Yeah, I'm going to walk. I'll be there in about twenty minutes."
Cut to mushr's scene. This scene is extended to end with Laura knocking on the door of a house.
A new scene can be created here: Laura, at the party, has another conversation with Natalie, telling her she has let John go. But there are subtle hints that she is beginning to waver.
Some of the material from John's well thoughtout backstory could be fleshed out and added here in the form of flashbacks as both John and Laura remember what has brought them both to this point, and remembering these has an effect on their thinking in the present.
Meanwhile John, having accepted his decision to let Laura go, has met someone else, but is still very unsure of this new relationship.
Three weeks later, as John's birthday approaches, Laura records her message. Cut to CrashAndBurn's scene.
From there, John will see Laura's video and react (how?)
Let's consider this an experiment in specifically trying to take advantage of synergy within text REmixing. The various contributions should come together to be greater than our individual contributions.
As I said, this is barebones and sketchy, so I specifically invite others to flesh it out, expand it. Also, I am uncertain about my ability to write believable dialog between two women, so feel free to improve upon that.
--------------------
Laura comes home from work. On the porch, she finds an unexpected overnight package. She glances at the return address, with a mixture of hope and concern.
Inside, she opens the package and finds a DVD. She pops it in and sits down to watch.
Cut to Metaphorest's original scene.
Back to Laura in her apartment. She turns off the player, and begins to weep.
Her cellphone wrings. She glances at the caller ID, Natalie. She lets it wring a couple of times, deciding, then abruptly answers it.
Before Laura can say anything, Natalie yells "Happy birthday! Hey, we're here, where are you? Are you on your way?"
Laura answers. "Oh, um, sorry I'm running a little late. I got... tied up."
Natalie hears the sadness in Laura's voice. "What's wrong? You sound like you've been crying. Are you ok?"
"I... I'll be ok. It's just... I got a package today. A message, video message."
Natalie, now much more concerned, asks "Message? From who? What happened?"
"It's from John."
"John! That bastard! He's got a lot of nerve sending you anything today. We are not going to let him ruin your birthday. What does he want?"
"He told me it can never work and I should forget about him."
"We'll hallelujah! At least he's got some sense. Now forget about him, and come on down here. This is girls night, no men to worry about tonight."
"I know, I should let it go. We were terrible together. Well, not all the time...."
Natalie cuts her off. "Are you coming over? We're all waiting."
"Yeah, I'm going to walk. I'll be there in about twenty minutes."
Cut to mushr's scene. This scene is extended to end with Laura knocking on the door of a house.
A new scene can be created here: Laura, at the party, has another conversation with Natalie, telling her she has let John go. But there are subtle hints that she is beginning to waver.
Some of the material from John's well thoughtout backstory could be fleshed out and added here in the form of flashbacks as both John and Laura remember what has brought them both to this point, and remembering these has an effect on their thinking in the present.
Meanwhile John, having accepted his decision to let Laura go, has met someone else, but is still very unsure of this new relationship.
Three weeks later, as John's birthday approaches, Laura records her message. Cut to CrashAndBurn's scene.
From there, John will see Laura's video and react (how?)
