I was the first inception.

Everything I knew became

consciousness.

The stronger I’s consciousness became,

 the more I became aware of I a (self).

I was aware that I was not alone.

But not having thought of the others yet.

I remained in the form of an I.

During I’s first instantaneous moment

I knew that I didn’t have a form.

Yet I was now aware that I had a form

since the characteristics of I was different

from nothing.

I was born out of necessity.

The desire to become I

was stronger than the

none I.

I knew that the idea

of a father, mother and  child

did not exist yet.

I was the first father, mother, and child.

There was I giving birth to a self

In the form of an I.

I knew that I was the beginning

of the anti-nothing.

& the stronger that I knew,

the more certain the form of an I  

became.

Until I knew for certain that there

 was I   

& nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was inspired by wirrow’s idea of deconstructing myths and creating our own by not adhering to the traditional symbolisms and meanings that have occupied the space and reality of our everyday lives, not to mention our history and collective consciousness as human beings. And when I read Richie’s story last night about The Circus Myth I was so inspired by the purity of his mythology which was created within the landscape of a circus. I was instantly intrigued by the story of the third ring which represented nothingness to me. It's strange because when you think about nothingness it doesn’t really take up space, nor is it considered a matter. But it plays such an important part in creation because nothing gives space for something to happen. So I thought that it was so amazing that Richie’s story was able to capture nothingness in some form that I could interact with. I was imaging myself being inside that third ring. Then I thought of this idea of what it would feel like to have some awareness at that precise moment that the first consciousness was born and discover simultaneously what consciousness is, and discover that a form of consciousness naturally leads to a sense of self, then a tangible existence. This idea I had is kinda lofty and trippy, and gangly. I wanted to write something circusy, but this thingy was the first idea that danced  in my head. So I went with it…

I wasn’t really sure that I should post this, since I thought it was kinda silly; but I think there’s some merit as well, in being able to view and experience someone’s exploration of an idea. That’s why I’m writing this long explanation; because the idea might not come across very clearly, if at all; besides I think the story really warrants a bit of an explanation.

The perspective that I used was that of the narrator. The word I in the story I treated like a character. I also assigned the pronoun I to be the name of the character, the same way you would use Amber or Bill. At the same time I was attempting to suggest that my consciousness as a narrator/creator was/is also involved in the I/ first person perspective, somehow ; and that they’re (I &I)  having an interaction… discovery together, somehow!?!!?!  (I cannot emphasize the word somehow enough.)

I also used the stream of consciousness style to write this thingamajig; because I  just wanted to document my thought process, since the actual subject that I was dealing with included my own consciousness. Everything about this is kinda sketchy,  but I wanted to mess with the idea.  Anyway, I think it’s kinda funny that my explanation is longer that my actual record! Hahaha. I think this actually some kind of a record for me!