Congratulations! You’re finally ready to take your grass-lying seriously. You’ve already taken the first step by purchasing this instructional manual. Now let this guide lead you on your way to clearer thinking.

It is our philosophy here at “The Wanderer’s Guide” that we are all wanderers, walking through life, observing, taking everything in, trying to make some sense out of this big mess we call existence. There are all different types of wanderers, some quite literally wandering with no particular direction, and then those who took a straight course in one direction certain it was the right way to go, but losing sight of what was really important. It is our goal to facilitate the wanderings of our brothers and sisters, and to make sure that we all possess the necessary tools to carry out one’s search for meaning, or lack thereof if they should decide it to be so.

People often get caught up in the doing of things. So, perhaps the most valuable tool in the wanderer’s arsenal is the seemingly simple ability to lay oneself upon the grass, and do—nothing. Yes, nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

Life, it seems, has become this being, in a constant state of motion. The people in it too find themselves caught in its wake, and it seems hard at times to slow down. It’s not uncommon to hear life referred to as a river, always flowing, and that everyone should just go with the flow. People are often criticized for sitting on the shore watching all the people who seem to be in such a hurry to get to the end. But this constant state of motion can get tiresome, and people can start to feel a bit drained from the constant doing.

We believe it necessary at times to pause all doing of things, and let time pass by. We all know that something can be a good thing, but too much of something can be a bad thing. It can get in the way of what is truly important, of what we really need. As one gets caught up in the something they become blind to the truly important something that they’re missing.

In order to allow for that truly important something we must leave room for it, create space for when we find it, or perhaps more accurately, when it finds us. Hence: the nothing.

This nothing created by lying in the grass allows room for that something. It’s as in chemistry, or physics: energy moves from areas of high to low. High pressure to low pressure, high density to low density, positive and negative charges. In this case, something is a positive charge, and nothing is a negative charge. The only way to obtain the something is to currently have nothing, which attracts the something. And again, to put it another way for better understanding: “How am I going to fit my new Hummer into the garage?” “Try moving your three BMWs…”

You have to make room before you can begin to let in more. Thus explains the importance of lying in the grass. Now:
There are many factors that go into the process of lying in the grass that often go overlooked. This guide will help point out things that should be considered before someone approaches the task of lying in the grass, such as: location, weather, sprinkler systems, sun vs. shade, body positions, clothing, additional accessories/materials/optional activities to bring along, and what to do in regards to multiple participants. 

1. Location: Where to lay oneself?
This is the first dilemma thrown at the wanderer. One must take certain things into account, like the weather for instance. Whether or not it has rained recently, or if the grass is watered regularly is important. The wanderer has to make a decision about whether they mind standing up with a wet butt afterwards, or if they would rather go get a blanket. This guide would prefer that, depending on the degree of wetness, one would risk a slightly wet bottom, or that they would already have a blanket or a sweatshirt with them to place underneath them if need be.

If the grassy area is hilly, or perhaps one finds themself on a hill, the best location in the case of recent precipitation is the top. Depending on the time of day, there will be less water in the soil towards the top of the hill. In the absence of wet grass, the valleys between hills are perfectly acceptable locations. Leaning with your head further up a hill can be quite comfortable for those in search of a slightly inclined lying position.

Trees or the shadow of a nearby building are recommended for those in search of a shady, grassy area. Umbrellas are weird, and excessive, and unless no other means of shade can be found, are not recommended.

Beware of fertilizer. Be mindful of recently fertilized lawns. There’s a reason for those signs. You don’t want any part of that. Also, considering it’s someone else’s lawn, perhaps it wasn’t the best location in the first place, for they may charge you with trespassing. Follow our advice and stick to public parks, grassy fields, or your own lawn (however considering the degree of wanderer, you may not own your own lawn).

2. Materials/Accessories: What to do whilst lying?
The fundamental accessory to lying in the grass is one’s mind. But there are many other accessories that can enhance the experience for the wanderer. The first being music.

Compile a playlist of relaxing music. This guide recommends the music of, Explosions in the Sky, among others, for their outstanding results in one particular case. But as these artists may not coincide with your personal musical taste, it is encouraged that you choose music from your personal library. Preferably music you could see yourself falling asleep to, or that allows your mind to wander.

There are other accessories that can be utilized in addition to or instead of music. A sketchbook, a diary, crossword puzzles, or a book to read are all very important tools for the grass-lying enthusiast. This is your time to break from the day. Escape. Get lost in your head, or in a book. Ideally you wouldn’t have anything else planned for the day, because once you lay down, there’s honestly not anything else you will feel like doing.

Equally important as things to do are supplies like: sunscreen, bug repellent, sunglasses, and as mentioned earlier, blankets. These are essential items depending on the weather, and location. Also, who knows how long you’ll be there? Bring a snack but be aware of the risk of attracting pests like bees, ants, and other people who only come to talk to you so they can have some of your food.

3. Body Positions: How to lay oneself down upon the grass?
There are many body positions to be explored once lying on the grass, and they all say something about the intentions and attitudes of the grass-layer. They are all best suited for levels of experience, specific activities, weather conditions, or the type of clothes you happen to be wearing.

The first one is the Basic Lying Position. Lying on the back, arms at the sides, legs straight out. This position is simple, and for the practiced grass layer it may be the only position needed. It doesn’t look like anything special, but this position doesn’t waste any time and allows the grass-layer to get right down to business.

The second position is the One or Both Knee(s) UP. This is a common position for cautious or beginning grass-layers, especially males. Depending on the level of one’s self consciousness the leg up is a good option for those who feel laying with legs flat leaves them too vulnerable. Also depending on how loose fitting of pants you are wearing, this is a useful position for concealing any unwanted male body functions.

For females, if they are wearing a skirt, depending on the length of the skirt, one knee up is not recommended. Both knees up may be an option, again, depending on the length and fit of the skirt.

The third and most sought after position is the Arms Extended, or Hands Behind the Head. This position in the best examples signifies true relaxation. When this position has been achieved, one can assume that the time spent lying in the grass is being used to its full potential. Although one must make sure they do not advance to this position too soon. When executed before one is ready it may convey that they are trying too hard to appear relaxed. This is especially true in the case of the hands behind the head. This is widely perceived as a nonchalant pose, but can get uncomfortable to hold the hands behind the head. In some cases amateurs will hold this position despite its awkwardness in order to maintain the façade. But really, who are you trying to impress? If that’s what you’re trying to do, please go get back in your Hummer.

Additional positions include lying on one’s stomach and propping oneself on their elbows in order to read a book (reading may also be done whilst on one's back, on a sunny day, using the book to shield one's eyes from the sun), draw, write, or do crosswords. Leaning with one’s back against a tree is a wonderful position to find oneself in. However beware of ants, and perhaps spiders, and don’t get mad if the squirrels give you a piece of their mind. Another popular variation on the Basic Lying Position is to cross one leg over the other at the ankles, or with One of Both Leg(s) Up, propping an ankle on the opposite knee. Lying on one’s side is also an option, but works best in the case of multiple participants, in order to face your friend lying next to you.

4. Lying in the Grass with Friends
Lying in the grass is strictly by non invitation only. If you were invited, then you aren’t welcome… It’s complicated, but it’s a very important rule. If ever you find you are lying in the grass and would like to share it with friends, you must never invite them to lie with you. That is simply against the rules. Lying in the grass should be a purely spontaneous action. The invitation takes away from the spontaneity of it all, and then the magic is gone. However, it is acceptable to inform them that you are lying in the grass, and your location. That is the only loophole. You let them know that grass-lying is taking place, either by phone, text, tweet, carrier pigeon, whatever, and let them decide how they should handle that. Let them make the decision on their own.


Didn’t think there was that much to it did you? Even something as simple as lying in the grass has a delicate process that must be respected. When done properly, lying in the grass can lead to valuable insight, and serves as a necessary break from the day. Everything mentioned in this instructional guide should be considered every time one lies in the grass. Eventually, with enough practice, you shouldn’t ever have to look at this, and it will all come naturally. That is when you will begin to get the most out of your time lying in the grass. 

As soon as you don’t have to think about all the rules and regulations and procedures your mind will be free to wander. Maybe one day, when you’re ready, you’ll “forget” this instructional manual at your favorite tree, or grassy field. Leave it behind for the next wandering soul who happens upon it. Maybe it’ll be just what they needed, as it was for you.

So, drop everything. Lie in the grass. Solve the world’s problems staring at the sky from the flat of your back.