got this idea after reading "I Had a Heart Once" by Metaphorest. original idea, just inspired by the monologue. enjoy.
Scene opens with Frank, younger man with eyes that tell us that he has seen more than he should have in his time. He sits on a solitary chair in the center of a room with few furniture arrangements. His hair falls in his face as he speaks, so he is constantly brushing it back. His glasses are always sliding off of his nose, so he is constantly pushing them back. In his hand he holds a clock. He is speaking to himself. His voice is hoarse and low.
Frank: Why won't this damn thing shut off...
Frank lets out a long sigh, as if it were a breath he had been holding in for years. He gingerly places the clock on the floor next to his feet after finally shutting it off.
Frank: For years. For years now, its been making that same damn noise. I mean, I know its 'sposed to, but still. Really? It's unbelievable. I... ugh whatever. I'll ignore it, as I always do.
Goes to change subject but instead changes mind, anger getting the best of him. Seems very flustered, with a touch of anger.
Frank: For as long as I can remember that same, consistent, persistent, resistant ticking has been gnawing at my mind... destroying it. I want to know what it's like, to be normal again.
Frank lets out another sigh. His eyes tear, not out of sadness but out of despair. Voice begins to falter and shake.
Frank: It's pathetic, really. I can't live anymore. My breathing has become labored, yet I haven't smoked a cigarette since 2001. My heart... well, the remains of it; it can't feel anymore. I've demoted myself from loving a woman to not knowing the emotion at all. Why?
He chuckles, looks down at the floor in front of him as he contemplates a decision he made years ago.
Frank: I feel like I have developed a sense of Masochism. Pain is what I deserve, for I am alive. Using the term loosely, of course, because some would argue that I am not even living anymore. As I would argue. No one deserves happiness or pleasure of any kind...
He leans in closer to the camera, starts an argument. Hand motions galore.
Frank: Yah see, Man was not meant to be happy. Not since Adam did the stupidest possible shit he could back in the day. This whole sin idea... it's true. It's true! Man is evil. We are born with hearts as black as coal, every one of us. So why should I be allowed to experience happiness or pleasure or success or love... I have been made from the same pile of dirt as Adam. I deserve nothing... Life is a joke we are all a part of, and like puppets we're made to live it.
Tear falls from Frank's eyes. His teeth are clenched tight. His lip quivers for a moment. He gently sways back and forth, his head in his hands.
Frank: I am nothing anymore. I am nothing. I am nothing. I am nothing. I'M NOTHING! I loved, at one point in time. I was happy, I was peaceful. But I threw around my heart as if it were made of stone, not knowing that it was glass all along. And shattered glass cannot be put back together... and now I'm nothing but a soul under some skin. But what is a soul good for if you have no heart to miss it? What am I good for... I can't even die.
Screen goes black, then opens to a first person perspective of Frank. Landscape in front, camera looks down at body, which is at the edge of a cliff. Camera sways gently, as if from vertigo. Labored breathing. Frank steps off the cliff, screen goes black.
Frank: (whispering) I can't even die.
-The New-Age Thinker