Verse 1: Lawrie Brewster 2 Metaphorest 3 godofwine 4 MadisenMusic 5 Bloemday...

Badger the Cat wears monotone pants
With violet cape and a prancing dance,
He's the fanciest feline to ever exist
And miow couture is... his world famous gift!

He dazzles the catwalks from Paris to Rome
But who is this moggie when he is at home?
He’s a cat caveat to the pitfalls of fame
A penchant for catnip is his secret shame

In gilded collar and artfully ripped jeans,
But his pantaloons are bursting at the seams
Yes, too many delicious treats he likes to dine
And morosely dreams of a younger waist line...

The weight of this kitty's addiction is ominous
Until finally he enters "Catnips Anonymous"
A relatable room to where more than one user
Hi my name's Badger and I'm an abuser

He attended CA meeting, got real and fit in, made friends who stood by him through thick and through thin.
No longer a slave to a plant or adulation, Badger's latest creations are plus size sensations.