The Masochists' Guide to Self-Destruction
by heathiemd
August 01, 2010
August 01, 2010
I used to do a lot of stupid things. Sometimes it felt like I was actually ticking them off of some sadistic list, seeing just how stupid I could be before it all blew up in my face. Is this smart? Of course it's not. Why did I do it? Well, that's its own separate collaboration - and I'm keeping that one to myself for now.
I'm envisioning a digital, interactive book - cheeky up to the hilt, of course - documenting all the little ways in which one who enjoys torturing himself might go about doing so as efficiently and thoroughly as possible. From personal anecdotes to numbered points to tick off, from video clips of instruction for the more complicated maneuvers to a listen-and-repeat guide to insulting one's host in a myriad of different languages, who knows where it might lead? I like the idea of "guest contributors" who are "specialists in the field"; illustrated charts; maybe a theme song... a "Dear Abby" type section, perhaps?
Aside from being an amusing guidebook - tourism for the self-loathing - I think it could be an interesting foray into a constantly evolving "book" as well as a nice response to all those tomes telling us how to make ourselves into more perfect beings.
I'm envisioning a digital, interactive book - cheeky up to the hilt, of course - documenting all the little ways in which one who enjoys torturing himself might go about doing so as efficiently and thoroughly as possible. From personal anecdotes to numbered points to tick off, from video clips of instruction for the more complicated maneuvers to a listen-and-repeat guide to insulting one's host in a myriad of different languages, who knows where it might lead? I like the idea of "guest contributors" who are "specialists in the field"; illustrated charts; maybe a theme song... a "Dear Abby" type section, perhaps?
Aside from being an amusing guidebook - tourism for the self-loathing - I think it could be an interesting foray into a constantly evolving "book" as well as a nice response to all those tomes telling us how to make ourselves into more perfect beings.
Welcome to the Masochist’s Guide to Self-Destruction!
Self-Destruction isn’t as easy as many people assume, particularly in Western society. From an early age, the majority of us are forced into regimented self-improvement – the mandatory education system; clubs and societies aimed at bettering our bodies, minds and social lives; prescribed medications to battle our infections and regulate our moods… it can be difficult for the self-loathing to get a toe-hold in their chosen form of self-expression. “How can I make myself a little more miserable?” “How do I effectively and efficiently isolate myself in a community of millions?” “How offensive is not offensive enough?” “Where can I learn the great art of backhanded compliments and cutting commentary?” “Which of this season’s colours make me look the most sallow?”
Questions like these, and a myriad of others, will be answered in this book, designed for aspirants to the art of self-loathing. Written, illustrated and documented by experts in the field, this tome will allow even the most pert and perky person to descend to the depths of degradation.
It is our aim to keep you informed of all the up-to-the minute developments in self-hatred – from the newest phobias to great ways to avoid interacting with your friends and loved ones, we’ve got you covered. Remember – no one can make you as miserable as you can yourself, but The Masochist’s Guide to Self-Destruction is a pretty close #2.
Table of Contents
1. Do I want to self-destruct? Take this self-assessment to find out!
2. Phobias: developing an obsessive fear that works for you.
3. Ask Ms X: advice for the aspirants – write in today!
4. The Masochist’s checklist: how many have you achieved?
5. Madrelingua: Language skills for self-loathers
…and much, much more!
Self-Destruction isn’t as easy as many people assume, particularly in Western society. From an early age, the majority of us are forced into regimented self-improvement – the mandatory education system; clubs and societies aimed at bettering our bodies, minds and social lives; prescribed medications to battle our infections and regulate our moods… it can be difficult for the self-loathing to get a toe-hold in their chosen form of self-expression. “How can I make myself a little more miserable?” “How do I effectively and efficiently isolate myself in a community of millions?” “How offensive is not offensive enough?” “Where can I learn the great art of backhanded compliments and cutting commentary?” “Which of this season’s colours make me look the most sallow?”
Questions like these, and a myriad of others, will be answered in this book, designed for aspirants to the art of self-loathing. Written, illustrated and documented by experts in the field, this tome will allow even the most pert and perky person to descend to the depths of degradation.
It is our aim to keep you informed of all the up-to-the minute developments in self-hatred – from the newest phobias to great ways to avoid interacting with your friends and loved ones, we’ve got you covered. Remember – no one can make you as miserable as you can yourself, but The Masochist’s Guide to Self-Destruction is a pretty close #2.
Table of Contents
1. Do I want to self-destruct? Take this self-assessment to find out!
2. Phobias: developing an obsessive fear that works for you.
3. Ask Ms X: advice for the aspirants – write in today!
4. The Masochist’s checklist: how many have you achieved?
5. Madrelingua: Language skills for self-loathers
…and much, much more!
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