Masochist's Guide to Self-Destruction - Introduction
Welcome to the Masochist’s Guide to Self-Destruction!
Self-Destruction isn’t as easy as many people assume, particularly in Western society. From an early age, the majority of us are forced into regimented self-improvement – the mandatory education system; clubs and societies aimed at bettering our bodies, minds and social lives; prescribed medications to battle our infections and regulate our moods… it can be difficult for the self-loathing to get a toe-hold in their chosen form of self-expression. “How can I make myself a little more miserable?” “How do I effectively and efficiently isolate myself in a community of millions?” “How offensive is not offensive enough?” “Where can I learn the great art of backhanded compliments and cutting commentary?” “Which of this season’s colours make me look the most sallow?”
Questions like these, and a myriad of others, will be answered in this book, designed for aspirants to the art of self-loathing. Written, illustrated and documented by experts in the field, this tome will allow even the most pert and perky person to descend to the depths of degradation.
It is our aim to keep you informed of all the up-to-the minute developments in self-hatred – from the newest phobias to great ways to avoid interacting with your friends and loved ones, we’ve got you covered. Remember – no one can make you as miserable as you can yourself, but The Masochist’s Guide to Self-Destruction is a pretty close #2.
Table of Contents
1. Do I want to self-destruct? Take this self-assessment to find out!
2. Phobias: developing an obsessive fear that works for you.
3. Ask Ms X: advice for the aspirants – write in today!
4. The Masochist’s checklist: how many have you achieved?
5. Madrelingua: Language skills for self-loathers
…and much, much more!
Self-Destruction isn’t as easy as many people assume, particularly in Western society. From an early age, the majority of us are forced into regimented self-improvement – the mandatory education system; clubs and societies aimed at bettering our bodies, minds and social lives; prescribed medications to battle our infections and regulate our moods… it can be difficult for the self-loathing to get a toe-hold in their chosen form of self-expression. “How can I make myself a little more miserable?” “How do I effectively and efficiently isolate myself in a community of millions?” “How offensive is not offensive enough?” “Where can I learn the great art of backhanded compliments and cutting commentary?” “Which of this season’s colours make me look the most sallow?”
Questions like these, and a myriad of others, will be answered in this book, designed for aspirants to the art of self-loathing. Written, illustrated and documented by experts in the field, this tome will allow even the most pert and perky person to descend to the depths of degradation.
It is our aim to keep you informed of all the up-to-the minute developments in self-hatred – from the newest phobias to great ways to avoid interacting with your friends and loved ones, we’ve got you covered. Remember – no one can make you as miserable as you can yourself, but The Masochist’s Guide to Self-Destruction is a pretty close #2.
Table of Contents
1. Do I want to self-destruct? Take this self-assessment to find out!
2. Phobias: developing an obsessive fear that works for you.
3. Ask Ms X: advice for the aspirants – write in today!
4. The Masochist’s checklist: how many have you achieved?
5. Madrelingua: Language skills for self-loathers
…and much, much more!
