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So, i like to think that i am being fairly productive with my time, but if i were to lay out a map of my average day and then actually figure out how much of my time was spent doing something creative- it would not be nearly impressive enough... to myself. i guess compared to someone who is never, ever creavtive, i could be considered highly creative. Sometimes i go through the list of everything creative i've ever done in my life- since birth, and that makes me feel a little better because i've done a decent amount of things that i feel proud of once they come to mind. And i know it's not supposed to be the quantity of the work we do- but the quality that matters. However, a RECord is a method of repetition, and with that repetition we learn and we grow as artists, don't we? Stephen King once said, "The scariest moment is always just before you start." And i get that way. i worry about how good something will or won't be sometimes. But Joe reminded us a few months ago that sometimes things don't have to make perfect sense- they can be wild, and random. They can just be weird or strange and then maybe someone else will refine what we have done later on. i just released my memoir out into the world a few days ago, and 3 people have ordered it. i know who two of them are, but not all 3, which scares me. i mean, this story is fuckin' OUT THERE! There's no cushion anymore where only my friends can read my memoir- people who i trust to be all cozy and supportive and wonderful with me about it. Somebody might read my book and go, "Wow. What a fucking complete waste of my time that was to read! Thanks a lot, Gwendolyn Gillett- whoever you are!" But i need to get past that fear, both there AND here. Because i think to a certain degree, i'm afraid to really put myself out there for fear of being made fun of or told that i'm not good enough. Where did my point go? Sorry- i haven't slept so i'm a little rambly here. My point is... the title of this RECord: i need to try harder... if for no other reason than to see what else i have inside of myself to offer the world that maybe nobody else has said before in the same way. Because that should be reason enough, shouldn't it? How do you YOU feel? Do you need to try harder? What is YOUR motivation for creating the things you create? And what makes you feel most proud or accomplished of something once you have shared it with the world? i used to interview Seattle bands on camera and i would ask them... which of the following things would make you feel most successful as a musician? Is it money? Fame? Fortune? Your picture on the cover of a magazine? Hearing your song in a movie on a big screen? And my favorite answer was always, "We just like making music. Everything else is only icing on the cake!" i am going to pledge right now to try harder. To make more RECords and question my talent less. And sometimes i will just follow the hearts to figure out which path to stroll down next. =) Well, thanks for reading. Cheers! -gwen |
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samalamadingdong
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i need to try harder... on October 14, 2010
RE: i need to try harder...
simplyD remarked on August 04, 2010
Hi Gwen,
Thank you for this! It's nice to feel like I can relate to someone on here, when i'm relatively new. I've felt stuck creatively and detached from a community the past two years, and what little inspiration I've found has been so fleeting that it just doesn't work. But now, finding HR, I just wish I had more time to let all my ideas flow and to devote, because I have found so much inspiration through everyone else's work. I'd like to contribute more, brick by brick, what little I can do, to this fantastic community. Either way, thank you. :)
Danielle (simplyD)
simplyD remarked on August 04, 2010
Hi Gwen,
Thank you for this! It's nice to feel like I can relate to someone on here, when i'm relatively new. I've felt stuck creatively and detached from a community the past two years, and what little inspiration I've found has been so fleeting that it just doesn't work. But now, finding HR, I just wish I had more time to let all my ideas flow and to devote, because I have found so much inspiration through everyone else's work. I'd like to contribute more, brick by brick, what little I can do, to this fantastic community. Either way, thank you. :)
Danielle (simplyD)
RE: i need to try harder...
gweninterrupted remarked on July 25, 2010
A welcomed thought... So... i had a very inspirational dream last night. i was telling off some grown-up bullies from my childhood and showing high levels of disrespect for their rules. i was always a perfect child- in the sense that i always made sure to color inside the lines. Well, i'm an adult now, and the old rules no longer apply to me. i can be eccentric and not get in trouble for it. i can try and fail and that will be okay too. i can *go* for one thing and come up with another and maybe that OTHER thing will have the magic- even if i didn't know that going into it. The way i think this should apply to me here on hitRECord is that i can allow myself to be inspired by other RECords and collaborations, and create something from that inspiration- even if it is not directly something that has been asked for. Because what if i make something that becomes something that nobody knew they wanted until they saw it? Or what if it can be used for something else altogether? i'm trying hard to quiet the naysayers who live in my head. i want to color way, way outside the lines... and see what happens over time. =)
gweninterrupted remarked on July 25, 2010
A welcomed thought... So... i had a very inspirational dream last night. i was telling off some grown-up bullies from my childhood and showing high levels of disrespect for their rules. i was always a perfect child- in the sense that i always made sure to color inside the lines. Well, i'm an adult now, and the old rules no longer apply to me. i can be eccentric and not get in trouble for it. i can try and fail and that will be okay too. i can *go* for one thing and come up with another and maybe that OTHER thing will have the magic- even if i didn't know that going into it. The way i think this should apply to me here on hitRECord is that i can allow myself to be inspired by other RECords and collaborations, and create something from that inspiration- even if it is not directly something that has been asked for. Because what if i make something that becomes something that nobody knew they wanted until they saw it? Or what if it can be used for something else altogether? i'm trying hard to quiet the naysayers who live in my head. i want to color way, way outside the lines... and see what happens over time. =)
RE: i need to try harder...
gweninterrupted remarked on July 24, 2010
So, i've been thinking about this strange, creative soul-searching i've been doing, and suddenly, everything hit me like a ton of bricks and just all started to make sense to me a few days ago. i have built up this sort of protective shell around me- in that much of my writing and music in the past has been directly influenced and representative of things i have been through in my life. Like therapy. Live exorcising demons. But now that i have released my memoir officially- and laid everything out plain as day in a book, i feel like i need to strive to CLOSE that creative chapter of the first part of my life and begin a new one from scratch. A creative REbirth! i need to find it in me to escape from this place in my mind- to go outside of myself and find beauty and magic in things again like i did when i was a kid. i need to forget who i am and just make things from some anonymous, nameless place inside of myself- untouched by the darkness of the world. <3
gweninterrupted remarked on July 24, 2010
So, i've been thinking about this strange, creative soul-searching i've been doing, and suddenly, everything hit me like a ton of bricks and just all started to make sense to me a few days ago. i have built up this sort of protective shell around me- in that much of my writing and music in the past has been directly influenced and representative of things i have been through in my life. Like therapy. Live exorcising demons. But now that i have released my memoir officially- and laid everything out plain as day in a book, i feel like i need to strive to CLOSE that creative chapter of the first part of my life and begin a new one from scratch. A creative REbirth! i need to find it in me to escape from this place in my mind- to go outside of myself and find beauty and magic in things again like i did when i was a kid. i need to forget who i am and just make things from some anonymous, nameless place inside of myself- untouched by the darkness of the world. <3
RE: i need to try harder...
gweninterrupted remarked on July 24, 2010
Thanks for your thoughts on this, TiDog! i really look forward to following your work here on hitRECord. =)
gweninterrupted remarked on July 24, 2010
Thanks for your thoughts on this, TiDog! i really look forward to following your work here on hitRECord. =)
RE: i need to try harder...
TiDog remarked on July 22, 2010
Hi Gwen!
Thanks for the warm welcome :) Thats a very good question... about my question. I suppose both. When I'm writing my story I find I'm a bit spontaneous sometimes. In a way I just let the story flow through me, unless I have a certain plan for a particular scene. And I also like to think about where my future book will be, months, even years away from now and how I hope it will influence the mood of my audience in a positive way and make them really think about the possibility of it. Well, I hope that helps :)
-Tiesha (TiDog)
TiDog remarked on July 22, 2010
Hi Gwen!
Thanks for the warm welcome :) Thats a very good question... about my question. I suppose both. When I'm writing my story I find I'm a bit spontaneous sometimes. In a way I just let the story flow through me, unless I have a certain plan for a particular scene. And I also like to think about where my future book will be, months, even years away from now and how I hope it will influence the mood of my audience in a positive way and make them really think about the possibility of it. Well, I hope that helps :)
-Tiesha (TiDog)
echolalianova
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i need to try harder... on July 21, 2010
msmeganonymous
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i need to try harder... on July 21, 2010
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