i need to try harder...
So, i like to think that i am being fairly productive with my time, but if i were to lay out a map of my average day and then actually figure out how much of my time was spent doing something creative- it would not be nearly impressive enough... to myself. i guess compared to someone who is never, ever creavtive, i could be considered highly creative.
Sometimes i go through the list of everything creative i've ever done in my life- since birth, and that makes me feel a little better because i've done a decent amount of things that i feel proud of once they come to mind. And i know it's not supposed to be the quantity of the work we do- but the quality that matters. However, a RECord is a method of repetition, and with that repetition we learn and we grow as artists, don't we?
Stephen King once said, "The scariest moment is always just before you start." And i get that way. i worry about how good something will or won't be sometimes. But Joe reminded us a few months ago that sometimes things don't have to make perfect sense- they can be wild, and random. They can just be weird or strange and then maybe someone else will refine what we have done later on.
i just released my memoir out into the world a few days ago, and 3 people have ordered it. i know who two of them are, but not all 3, which scares me. i mean, this story is fuckin' OUT THERE! There's no cushion anymore where only my friends can read my memoir- people who i trust to be all cozy and supportive and wonderful with me about it. Somebody might read my book and go, "Wow. What a fucking complete waste of my time that was to read! Thanks a lot, Gwendolyn Gillett- whoever you are!" But i need to get past that fear, both there AND here. Because i think to a certain degree, i'm afraid to really put myself out there for fear of being made fun of or told that i'm not good enough.
Where did my point go? Sorry- i haven't slept so i'm a little rambly here. My point is... the title of this RECord: i need to try harder... if for no other reason than to see what else i have inside of myself to offer the world that maybe nobody else has said before in the same way. Because that should be reason enough, shouldn't it?
How do you YOU feel? Do you need to try harder? What is YOUR motivation for creating the things you create? And what makes you feel most proud or accomplished of something once you have shared it with the world?
i used to interview Seattle bands on camera and i would ask them... which of the following things would make you feel most successful as a musician? Is it money? Fame? Fortune? Your picture on the cover of a magazine? Hearing your song in a movie on a big screen? And my favorite answer was always, "We just like making music. Everything else is only icing on the cake!"
i am going to pledge right now to try harder. To make more RECords and question my talent less. And sometimes i will just follow the hearts to figure out which path to stroll down next. =)
Well, thanks for reading.
Cheers!
-gwen
Sometimes i go through the list of everything creative i've ever done in my life- since birth, and that makes me feel a little better because i've done a decent amount of things that i feel proud of once they come to mind. And i know it's not supposed to be the quantity of the work we do- but the quality that matters. However, a RECord is a method of repetition, and with that repetition we learn and we grow as artists, don't we?
Stephen King once said, "The scariest moment is always just before you start." And i get that way. i worry about how good something will or won't be sometimes. But Joe reminded us a few months ago that sometimes things don't have to make perfect sense- they can be wild, and random. They can just be weird or strange and then maybe someone else will refine what we have done later on.
i just released my memoir out into the world a few days ago, and 3 people have ordered it. i know who two of them are, but not all 3, which scares me. i mean, this story is fuckin' OUT THERE! There's no cushion anymore where only my friends can read my memoir- people who i trust to be all cozy and supportive and wonderful with me about it. Somebody might read my book and go, "Wow. What a fucking complete waste of my time that was to read! Thanks a lot, Gwendolyn Gillett- whoever you are!" But i need to get past that fear, both there AND here. Because i think to a certain degree, i'm afraid to really put myself out there for fear of being made fun of or told that i'm not good enough.
Where did my point go? Sorry- i haven't slept so i'm a little rambly here. My point is... the title of this RECord: i need to try harder... if for no other reason than to see what else i have inside of myself to offer the world that maybe nobody else has said before in the same way. Because that should be reason enough, shouldn't it?
How do you YOU feel? Do you need to try harder? What is YOUR motivation for creating the things you create? And what makes you feel most proud or accomplished of something once you have shared it with the world?
i used to interview Seattle bands on camera and i would ask them... which of the following things would make you feel most successful as a musician? Is it money? Fame? Fortune? Your picture on the cover of a magazine? Hearing your song in a movie on a big screen? And my favorite answer was always, "We just like making music. Everything else is only icing on the cake!"
i am going to pledge right now to try harder. To make more RECords and question my talent less. And sometimes i will just follow the hearts to figure out which path to stroll down next. =)
Well, thanks for reading.
Cheers!
-gwen
