I've learned a bit about duels from my history teacher and was inspired by Tillycat's "Number 2 Ideas." I figured I would write a something about them, after I started I did a bit more research. A few hours later this happened…
So duels to the death were the most talked about in Europe between the 1600 and 1700’s. They were usually centered on swordsmanship but as time moved on things evolved into pistols. (Although there were many other kinds of duels, there was even one that involved throwing and hitting your opponent with sausage)
The actual challenge would occur usually after an large disagreement. (an insult to a family member or a deep political rivalry) The end the objective of these gentleman duels was not really to kill anybody. It was more of a testosterone thing, who is brave enough to actually show up and shoot a pistol for their cause. Usually the challengers wouldn’t even shoot at each other, they would just shoot into the sky or into the ground.
The most famous American duel was between Alexander Hamilton (who was the US treasurer) and Aaron Bur (who was the vice president.) Duels were illegal in New Jersey, so the two guys eager to prove their commitment to their political beliefs went on boats to this little island near the Hudson River. Both men walked into the woods and did the typical duel thing. Back to back, walk a few paces, fire. Hamilton fired up into the air while Bur shot right into Hamilton’s liver. Hamilton later died from his injury and there was a big ol media stink about the whole situation. In the end Bur wasn't even convicted for any crime!
Side note Aaron Bur was a freaking crazy person. He thought war with Spain was inevitable, so he made his own group of rag-tag farmers/army and bought all this land from in Louisiana. He figured when the war started he’d just go out and claim even more land for himself, and then start his own country…after taking on two world superpowers…with farmers.
Although gun duels happened more often in Wild West than in the northern US, they were not as awesome as the movie depictions. Most of the time it was just two drunks firing off at each other randomly in a bar, hitting innocent bystanders in the process. There not really reliable knowledge of the gunfights that really did happen because of the poor record keeping of the time. So who knows what those duels really looked like.
[I'll continue this if there is popular enough demand, but I am out of time and ironically need to do some history homework]
In 1808, Monsieur de Grandpre and Monsieur le Pique were each having a relationship with the same woman, Mademoiselle Tirevit. They decided to have a gun duel using blunderbusses (a form of shotgun) -- but while flying in opposing hot air balloons, about 80 yards apart.
De Grandpre ended up hitting Le Pique's balloon, which sent the balloon down to the ground, killing him on impact, putting closure to a dispute that clearly could only be settled in a hot air balooon gun fight.
We start in the old west. Two gunslingers glare intensely in a noontime showdown. The silence is thick. A tumbleweed blows by.
"I got you. You're dead!"
"Nuh-uh! I got you!"
"You're doing it all wrong! I shot you first!"
Cut to two brothers, 7 and 9, wearing makeshift cowboy hats and holding toy pistols.
"I turned my invincibility armor on at the last minute! You can't hurt me!"
"Oh yeah? I'll use my laser cannon!"
Cut to two robots in a futuristic setting. An all out battle ensues with rockets, lasers, and explosions. Suddenly we hear ice cream truck music.
Cut to the two robots, still in the futuristic setting, sitting down and eating ice cream together.
Cut to the two brothers wearing cardboard boxes as robot suits. The older brother finishes his ice cream and suddenly grabs his brother's popsicle. He runs off.
"Stop! That's mine! Come back here!"
Cut to a cop chasing a robber.
A super rough idea. Various duels tied together by two brothers playing together. It ultimately ends when the two are called in for dinner by mom.
"You have insulted my honor. I challenge you to a duel."
"Okay, but I really don't think saying Batman could kick Spiderman's ass was that big of a deal."
"Choose your weapons."
"Anything I want?"
"Coconut cream pies at dawn."
"I choose coconut cream pies."
"You're supposed to pick some sort of gun."
"But coconut cream pies are win-win. The man with superior aim claims the victory and the loser gets a nice snack."
"Good point. Coconut cream pies it is. Can we make it a little later though? I'm not really a morning person."
"Fine, but it will have to be early evening then – my kid has a thing in the afternoon."
"Who buys the pies?"
"I assumed I would because you're such a cheap bastard."
"You have insulted my honor. I challenge you to a duel."
"Another one? Let's get our weapons from the Mighty Muffin Bakery – they do bulk discounts."
"Yeah, and all their stuff is gluten-free, so I won't have to hear you whining about your allergies when I take you down with one of those things."
"They also sell those rock-hard baguettes if you want to knock things up a notch."
"Nah, it's not like you said Hello Kitty could kick Spiderman's ass – I'm not that pissed off. You can make an argument for Batman over Spiderman – it would be completely fucking wrong, but you could make it."
"Hello Kitty couldn't take Spiderman out unless Spiderman was really drunk, but Spongebob could probably manage it."
"Okay, we're getting those baguettes."
WRITERS: Contribute Scripts, Story Treatments, Ideas & Facts RE: Gun Duels.
- Write a Short Script RE: Gun Duels
- Contribute Facts & Ideas RE: Guns Duels
- Make an album of your favorite contributions for this collab