backcushions: (noun)

One’s posterior, rump, behind. The twin masses of soft tissue located halfway down the non-face side of a human which allow one to sit more comfortably. Usage: “I like big backcushions, and I cannot lie”


buttonish: (adj)

An object which can be likened to a button. Buttons themselves are, in fact, buttonish. Often used to describe a particularly cute human nose. Usage: “Her nose was so buttonish, I was inclined to press it and simultaneously emit a noise akin to ‘meep’”


facehole: (noun)

The opening on the human face which allows the intake of food and oxygen and, occasionally, also facilitates the exit of less savory gases and fluids. The facehole is also involved in the human mating ritual of kissing. Usage: “Shut your blooming facehole, you insufferable imbecile”


fauxface: (noun)

The multi-coloured facepaint employed by womankind to maintain a flawless, youthful appearance. The use of fauxface is one of the many methods of trickery associated with the human mating ritual. Male equivalents include the deceptive stuffing of undergarments. Usage: “It appeared that Jane had applied her fauxface in a dark room with the aid of a shovel”


femalian: (noun)

Refers to the portion of the human race bodily accessorized by a set of frontcushions which are variously employed in the process of procreation. They are recognizable by their ability to remember birthdays and by their geographical confusion upon exiting a store. Usage: “She’s once, twice, three times a femalian, and I looooove her”


foodpenguin: (noun)

The lady or gent underpaid by an eatery to transfer food from the kitchen to your table while maintaining a consistent and unnerving false joviality. Usage: “When the foodpenguins sang Jane the house Birthday song, I think we all died a little inside.”


fourwalls: (noun)

The containers in which humans are stored. They can be made of various materials and take various shapes depending on the material means of the inhabitant. Usage: “Jane’s fourwalls afforded her the privacy to enjoy ‘Naked Tuesdays’ while still maintaining the social acceptance she was so fond of.”


habberdashed: (adj)

To be so enraptured by a fellow human’s appearance or demeanor that one becomes short of breath and potentially incoherent. In the male, it can be accompanied by some embarrassing activity in the trouser region, which may impede the ability to stand without fear of social humiliation. Usage “John was so habberdashed by Jane’s frontcushions that he had to wear loose fitting pants to the office.”


hornified: (adj)

See habberdashed


lovesplode: (verb)

To experience the ultimate consequence of an extended period of being habberdashed. To erupt volcanically in one’s trousers due to intense feelings associated with the mating ritual. Usage: Jane put an end to her romantic entanglement with John in reaction to his serially early lovesplosions”