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Metaphorically Speaking In a small office, sits a tall, slender man with a very large, hook nose. He is in a black leather, swiveling chair against a classy wooden desk and wears a gray three-piece suit. Opposite him is Dustin, wholly nude, sitting in an uncomfortable looking chair made entirely of dark wood. As the round ball of pearly flesh gazes blankly across the great desk, his apparent boss begins a lazy tirade. Boss: "I'll tell you what you are. You are the mold on the cheese which is my day." Dustin: "Just what is that supposed to mean?" Boss: "It means that I was on my way to having a great day. A perfect day. A delicious, Dagwood of a day and you ruined it with your moldy cheese." Dustin: "I'm not sure I understand--" Boss: "--Of course you don't. Because you're thick. Like butter." Dustin: "I thought I was like cheese?" Boss: "Idiot. You're not food to me, I said it twice already -- you're a blot of mold, in my eyes. And how dare you accuse me of figurative cannibalism?" Dustin: "I don't like it when you speak in metaphors." Boss: "Of course you don't. I don't think you understand that I loathe your presence. You are my bane." Dustin: [A Long Pause] "I don't know what that means." Boss: [Elongated Grunt] A Short Conversation About Doors Jethro and Dustin are standing in a hallway examining an open door. Through the doorway can be seen a portion of an apparently empty room with white walls and dusty, wooden flooring. Dustin: "Okay, so here's how it works: You step through that door, and you end up back in here, same exact moment you walked in, but with memories of everything you did up to that point." Jethro: "What, like...time travel?" Dustin: "Not LIKE time travel. It IS time travel. For some messed up reason, this door in your basement's turned into some kind of interdimensional portal or something." Jethro: "Huh." Dustin: "Here, try it -" [Attempts to push Jethro through] Jethro: "HEY! No way!" Dustin: "Why? What's the matter?" Jethro: "If I go through that and you're right, how will I know I'm coming back to the same place? What if it just LOOKS a lot like where I was before, but ISN'T?" Dustin: "What the heck does it matter then? You'd have no way of telling the difference." Jethro: "How do you know? I've been through it like, ten times!" Dustin: "Yeah, but you're not as perceptive as I am." Jethro: "You're - what? I am SO much more perceptive than you." Dustin: "How do you figure?" Jethro: "Well, I found the damn thing, didn't I? Freakin door's IN YOUR HOUSE, and you never even bothered to open it!" The two stand in total silence for a few moments. Without warning, Dustin sends Jethro through the doorway with a great push, watching him disappear, completely, before hitting the floor. Dustin: "Well... huh. That was unexpected." Ambiguity Jethro and Dustin are standing in front of a blue interior door. Dustin appears to be naked, though the two of them are only visible from the waist up. In the background can be heard soft, elevator music. Dustin: “So, how did it make you feel?” Jethro: “Good, I suppose.” Dustin: “You didn’t feel ashamed?” Jethro: “Not particularly.” Dustin: “Some people do after their first time” Jethro: “I was excited, that much is true. My hands were shaking the whole time, but by the time it was over… I don’t know, I guess I just expected more.” Dustin: “What did you expect?” Jethro: “I’m not sure. Some sort of significance I suppose.” Dustin: “Maybe next time will be better.” Jethro: “I’m not sure I’ll ever do it again” The shot widens. On the wall next to the door, a plaque is now visible, bearing the solid-white silhouette of a man. A fancily dressed individual now enters the scene, wearing a tuxedo. Followed closely by the eyes of both Jethro and Dustin, he walks over to the blue door and opens it, causing a dark green, teargas-like substance to be exposed. In an instant, the fancy man is rendered unconscious and falls to the floor. Jethro: "No. I'll never do it again."
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Tales of Jethro & Dustin
by Matthew...
Ladies & Gentlemen
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RECorders
BIG and small
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It is time for a fresh collab!
I was inspired by "Dialogue Tales!" and the off-shoot collaboration "Dialogue Tales Short Film". There has been a lot of great material contributed, so far...
So let's use it!
I've taken some dialogue pieces from "Dialogue Tales!" and revised them so that they are a single screenplay, focused mainly around the same two characters. Their names are Jethro and Dustin; two friends who are total opposites and together do basically nothing. In fact, they really can't stand one another, yet for unknown reasons, their friendship is unbreakable. Here are some basic character descriptions...
Jethro: Very tall, very skinny, intelligent, and mildly irate. His pants are generally too short.
Dustin: Short, pale, inhumanely spherical, consistently ignorant, naked.
What we need are voice-overs, drawings, renderings, animation/tests (if you're feeling up to it), or even additions and updates to the screenplay. We also need a bit of soft elevator music. Let's do this!
Have fun,
make magic.
-Matthewsaurus
Request List:
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Other
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