Antoine - A non British guy who puts on a fake British accent, and also happens to be an established member of the hitrecord community. But for the Fall Formal he decides to sample a fake identity on account of him being an unsinkable bunburyist. Antoine, a man of many talents- also has this uncanny habit of randomly dropping the very Aussy exclamation word ‘Crickey!’ within his sentences, apropos of nothing.
Then there’s Felix- who also happens to be a well known chap from the hitrecord community. Felix is an interesting case because he is unaware that he speaks with a nondescript European accent; though he has never set foot in Europe. Felix too, has some bunburying tendencies. But like a sleepwalker on crack, he is unaware that from time to time he falls under an Oscar Wilderian spell. Whether or not, he has any tidbits of recollection of the many mortifying episodes that has resulted because of this peculiar condition. No one knows.
Note* Felix and Antoine ( fake names) actually know of each other’s hitrecord identities via profile pics/records. They somehow, have an idea that neither one of them should be speaking with a very crisp, distinctive, highfalutin accent. But neither one has the courage to call each other out, especially since this is their first meeting in person. Besides, one or the other doesn’t even have an inkling regarding the proper remark one makes when encountered with this highly unusual situation.
These two, semi-harmless, loveable charlatans have the same thing in mind for the night; and that is to score with the ladies. As the evening progresses it becomes clear however, that not only do these two not like each other’s fake guts; but they’ve also sniffed out each other as competition, (nemesis if you will). So for these two- the Fall Formal then becomes the battleground of sorts for a battle of wits, cleverness and macabre party tricks.
The conversation and the altercation that ensued happened as follows:
Two gentlemen dressed in immaculate tuxedos slide over from opposite ends of the rows inside of the theatre, only to end up smack in the middle of the row fighting over the same seat. The two gentlemen sense that something is very wrong here. Apart from the obvious fact that there's been some evident confusion over the seating arrangement; there’s something else more harrowing, menacing, stinky at play here. Much to their chagrin, the mutual horror of their situation hit them at once. The two men realize that they are both wearing the exact same outfit! A REC Robot T-Shirt, a pair of skinny trousers, dirty red Chucks, and a black tuxedo jacket decorated by three hitrecord pins on the left side of the breast pocket. & surprise, surprise two matching Fedora hats!
The two slowly survey each other’s get up until their gaze arrive deadlock, straight into each other’s eyes. Neither one has the courage to say anything. Finally Antoine, in one swift motion, very gracefully removes his Fedora. So gracefully in fact, that his movement was almost feline-like.
Not to be outdone by this Felix- very casually feigns an ‘e.h..em...’ cough, cough, and understatedly tries to occupy the one vacant seat. But before he could plant his buttocks on the spot, Antoine’s foot gets in the way, partly blocking the entrance to the vacant seat. Aborting Felix’s efforts at seat domination.
Luckily the woman who is sitting next to the empty seat spots a friend at the other row, and very opportunely gives up her seat to be seated next to her friend. Felix ruggedly stumbles on the recently evacuated seat and says “How about that! finders ke..e..pe.r.r.r.rs”.” He sits himself in the vacant seat and start mumbling angry gobbledegookish things to himself in a fake somewhat Russian accent, while plotting revenge.
Antoine- too startled to even start processing what just transpired, just sits at the other empty seat, and starts quietly singing to himself, as is his custom when he is unnerved. He looks across the room to see if there’s another place where he can situate himself, but alas! the gods frown, because as if by magic, every seat in the house becomes suddenly occupied by a human being wearing a sparkly bright if not pink, orange, black suit/ evening gown.
Antoine- … “Nice turn out eh! “ …”Crikey!”. in an affected British accent.
An uncomfortable cloud of silence hangs in the air.
Felix- “Yeah…grrrr..… hii..raaa… cough. Ehh, ah so you’re a hitr.r.r..ecord.er, man? “. He makes casual conversation, not even daring to broach the subject of the identical outfits.
Antoine: “That’s right. I was supposed to go with a lady friend of mine, but at the last minute she had to cancel to attend a surprise party at the playboy mansion. She is an aspiring playmate”, he fibs.
At this exact same moment a beautiful girl walks across the front of the stage and seemingly gazes at their general direction.
Felix takes this as a come-hither signal, his whole being beams up like the feathers of a peacock. Meanwhile, Antoine thinking that he has been summoned by her majesty herself, subconsciously man-shimmies. But before either one of them could make a move….the light dims and a familiar voice chimes in….” "At this time we'd like to remind you to please turn on all recording devices...". Excitement and anticipation resounds inside the entire theatre.
Antoine & Felix simultaneously pull out their cameras from a previously unmentioned satchel. Antoine couldn’t help but notice that his camera is bigger than Felix, and unleashes a satisified Chesire cat grin.
Felix, defeated, and slightly feeling bad about the size of his equipment speaks incoherent mumbo jumbo…
Okay this is the part where I need your help, since I totally suck at writing dialogues, and couldn’t one-up anyone even if I tried my bestest; and because I don’t know how to write anything in a script format. I just basically had this crazy idea about these two crazy dudes trying to one-up each other, discussing their real, or more convincingly fictionary escapades. I was trying to skirt around the issue of writing actual dialogues. so I was writing a narrative and description of their behavior, suggestions of physical comedy, instead. But I think Joe, specifically requested for lines that actors could deliver. I know the content is not really supposed to be about hitrecord, but I just sorta wanted to set it up like that so they’d have some matching things. I’m not sure if this could go anywhere, so anyhow, I’ll just post this here, see what you guys think. Yay!
Dear HitRecord Friends,
When I first started a collaboration here on the site I'll be honest, I had zero ideas on
how it all worked. Now that I'm more knowledgeable about collaborations I can see
WHY it works. At work we all sit at a desk and manage accounts all day or wait tables
all day or whatever it is that we do for a living. Now those customers or accounts need
maintenance and most importantly they need FOLLOW UP. What I propose here is that
you take your best qualified works of art that NEED to be FOLLOWED UP on.
Say you have a text that you feel could be turned into a drawing, then this is where
you put it up. You could even submit a new text piece stating how you wish for your
record to be further renewed. Be sure to resource yourself so that whoever looks can
easily find what you would like to be added to the work or how you could see it leading
to other horizons.
SUBMIT ONLY UNFINISHED WORK IN WHICH YOU WANT TO BE FURTHERED HERE