FADE IN:

EXT. MELROSE STRIP. DAY

INTERVIEWER looks at camera.

INTERVIEWER:

Hello, everybody, and welcome to S.B. Weekly's "Artist of the Month" brought to you by Crest's new Sex Breath Oh Yeah fluoride line. 

Today, we're introducing French-born L.A. street artist Mr. Brainfart, who's gathered mainstream buzz in the graffiti world as the next Banksy.  His debut show, Life is Doodieful, premiers this Friday at the old BBS studio in L.A.  Check out our exclusive interview!

EXT. MR. BRAINFART'S BACKYARD. DAY

INTERVIEWER and MR. BRAINFART sit at garden table.  MR. BRAINFART is chubby, sports a curly black mustache, and wears a fedora and motorcycle glasses, as well as a dirty white shirt that says, "i was afraid I'D EAT YOUR BRAINS."  An ASSISTANT for MR. BRAINFART sit next to him with a tape recorder in hand.

INTERVIEWER:

Pleased to meet you, Mr. Brainfa--

ASSISTANT plays fart SFX with tape recorder.

INTERVIEWER glances at ASSISTANT and MR. BRAINFART, perplexed.

INTERVIEWER:

Well, um, please describe your art to those who haven't been exposed yet.

MR. BRAINFART:

My work is spontaneous.  It is whimsical.  It is a brain fart. 

ASSISTANT plays fart SFX with tape recorder.

MR. BRAINFART:

Unlike Mr. Brainwash, whose work is calculated, my aesthetic possesses innate beauty.  It is like a lightning strike--God's flash photography.  Whimsical.  It is gas from the cerebral buttocks.

MR. BRAINFART'S hat blows off to reveal he's bald. 

MR. BRAINFART:

Can we cut that?

MR. BRAINFART picks up his hat and puts it back on.

INTERVIEWER:

On the topic of Mr. Brainwash, you've received some criticism for essentially "replicating" his artwork.  It's been noted by some critics and artists that you borrow directly from his work and insert "low-brow bathroom imagery." 

Video of MR. BRAINFART'S artwork plays.  First piece is a life-size red tomato butt with the Campbell's logo.  The next piece is MR. BRAINWASH's Michael Jackson Monroe screen print with a poo mustache.  The following piece is a Ronald McDonald sculpture bending over the Hamburglar.  The final piece is a Photoshopped print of Obama farting on Sarah Palin. 

INTERVIEWER:

What's your reaction? 

MR. BRAINFART:

My art is original.  I reject the notion that I am copycat or mimic.  Let's be clear: I draw from childhood heroes, like Pocahontas, Tommy Wiseau and Dr. Zeus--not other artists.   

MR. BRAINFART bends over and sniffs the INTERVIEWER.

INTERVIEWER:

May I also ask why you constantly, and compulsively, sniff everything?

MR. BRAINFART:

As a child, I experienced a horrendous trauma.

INTERVIEWER:

Which was?

MR. BRAINFART:

My father's passing.  Papi was always my role model.  He was hit by a fixed speed on his way walking home to bring the family our evening cheese...I can still smell the Stilton on his sweet, cold cheek. 

INTERVIEWER:

I guess you could say he really "cut the cheese."

A moment of silence ensues. 

MR. BRAINFART:

Ever since, I've taken whiffs of everything, everybody I encounter to preserve their pure essence in my memories. 

INTERVIEWER:

Huh...So let's talk about your upcoming show.  It's pretty expansive for a debut.  Did you need any help with it?

MR. BRAINFART:

Of course not.  I had a broken pinky during the installation, but like a true Frenchman, I finished the job alone.

INT. MR. BRAINFART'S INSTALLATION SPACE. DAY

MR. BRAINFART'S space is cluttered, with people creating and assembling his artwork.

WORKER:

He's such a mother fucker.

EXT. MR. BRAINFART'S BACKYARD. DAY

INTERVIEWER:

Now, what motivated you to immigrate to America?

MR. BRAINFART:

After my papi's untimely death, I immigrated from France to L.A. to pursue the American dream. 

INTERVIEWER:

What was that for you? 

MR. BRAINFART:

To become a standout entrepreneur, to start a business. 

INTERVIEWER:

Which was? 

MR. BRAINFART:

An erotic laundromat. 

INTERVIEWER:

So what drew you to art? 

MR. BRAINFART:

One night I had a fantastic vision from Jesus himself.  He told me, "Pierre, you must become idol and avenge me!"  And I told him, "But Geebus, how can I avenge you with laziness?" He then handed me a spray can and lit up a bush with his buttocks. 

So I must thank God for his refudiating guidance.  Ever since then, it's been a journey of discovery.

INTERVIEWER:

So what's next for Mr. Brainfa--

ASSISTANT plays fart SFX with tape recorder.

MR. BRAINFART:

Anything and everything.  There are so many creative pores I have yet to exfoliate. 

Now excuse me, I must use el Bono.

INTERVIEWER:

Sure.

MR. BRAINFART exits to an outhouse with life-size screen print of (U2) BONO taking a crap.

FADE OUT: