hitRECord

Released 2011-05-02 15:57:12 -0700

The Wait, emmielou -- I really like this description of love: "not some child's task." Because many people have this whole pure and simple idea of love, like a child's love, but loving someone, the whole person, is not that easy. And sometimes you don't have the energy/endurance/etc for it, or it's not worth it. And that is ok.

Sirens, smweed -- Smweed just suddenly appeared and left little easter eggs of excellent writing all over the place. Anyways, chilling and the words/pacing is perfect.

Hall of Endless Stories, Bajambles -- It's the prologue of an epic tale, your (possibly epic) tale. I can hear the mysterious wizard (or librarian!) intoning it, half caution, half challenge. I think it might benefit from a looser rhyme/syllable rhythm, but in any case someone should totally do a reading of it because it is already jumping off the page.

Ugly, arit -- A bit wordy, but the idea and how it is communicated is very good, how the way you see yourself is your reality.

May You Fall With Grace, Scarlet -- It reads like a benediction, except it's a hope you would like to believe. Good use of repetition.

The White Lights Searching, becoming -- Haunting, would make a good song. The second and last stanzas are my favorites.

A Word - tiny story, smweed -- Seemed to be today's theme.

We'll Let the Waves Take Us Away, AeB -- I'm a sucker for doomed romance. The first two/last two lines stuck with me for a while after I read it. I think this would also make a great song.

Sons, smweed -- Excellent picture of a stranger. Felt a bit choppy in comparison to Sirens, but some great imagery.

The Ghost's Rebuttal, moonbug -- I really like this concept of a ghost and its relationship to the target of its rebuttal. "I am gone, yet I am here, / But I am not the thing you fear." The repetition in the first stanza works really well for me.

Young Summer, Ismahan -- This is the summer I love.

(holy cow, the text spacing is driving me crazy. I'd love a plain html textbox)

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Yvette

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	Do not say I never tried, never hoped, never cried. Do not say, "Don't give up yet," I am tired, let me rest. To love is a lot to ask,

	The beached shells of other selves whispered but you filled their mouths with sand. Determined then, to drown them out, you gra...

	This hall of endless stories These tales all the same Battles fought with glory Or losses filled with shame Where will yo...

	The ugliness fills her up from her toes to the tip of her head it is all she knows it burns her from her heart to the short hairs on her body it is a part of her and her a part of...

	I tell myself that when the end comes, you will not need me. You will be able to fly, broken wings or not. And if it hurts too much, I tell myself you will fashion a staff from a tre...

	in the mountains, in the morning, in the trees beneath the hills, between the blinking of her lashes, looking out the window sill ...

	Maybe a word is worth a thousand pictures. Every now and then.

	I went all the way to New York City looking for you. I found your lonely wives neatly folded into motel closets. I slept light, uneasy in their muffled grace. Your bast...

	I’m alive in the mist that sweeps down the street. I’m alive on the lips of the people you meet. I’m alive in the hearts of those who knew me, ...

	My family and I go to the park in the late afternoon and come home in the evening. The air is warm. My hair is sticking to my neck. My knees are bruised from when I fell on the sidew...

	Lover, sink down with me into the depths of th...