"This is going to end badly" said The Beginning.
"Why do you always assume that. That is so unfair!" said The End.
"Hey, no need to get like that. Back me up will you!" said The Beginning...

There was a little girl that overheard her mummy and daddy saying that if a butterfly flaps its wings it can make a hurricane if it wants to. So she was always really polite to butterflies.

Sleeping Beauty was awoken from her long lie-in one morning by a member of the local council banging on her front door. There had been complaints from the neighbours about her overgrown garden and ...

When I was little and was read stories I would tend to ask a lot of questions and so I wanted to create a version of the poem being read to an inquisitive child.

------------------------...

I went on an Easter egg hunt and I found a whole bunch of them at the supermarket.

1. My accent tends to go all over the place. I’m English but I’ve been mistaken for American, Canadian and Australian.

2. For months when I was about ten years old I had ...

Middle owlet: "...so that's the secret and you can't tell anyone, okay!"
Left owlet: "I don't want to alarm you but we are not alone"
Right owlet: "Hello"

1. Who are you and what do you do?
I am Unusual Suspect, otherwise known as Natalie, Nat, that girl, whatshername, umm... who are you again? and even on one occasion - oh shit, it's her.
...

...and they lived happily ever after. At least for now.

One day whilst walking across the living room Achilles stubbed his toe on the edge of the coffee table and cried out in pain; "What the hell, Mum! I thought you said you dunked me in the Styx ho...

It's true, the rusted spade was not the sharpest tool in the shed. He just wished that the other tools hadn't overheard their owners use that expression. Now all the saws laughed at him.

When life gives you lemons

squeeze them into a pitcher

add water and sugar

stir well 

 

 

Hello, my name is Suspect and so are my motives.

Children should be seen and heard laughing.

"Hello. I’d like to talk to you about your security needs."

"Register your name."

"My name is Elijah and I’d like to talk to you about your security and what ...

They were taking shape. There were two of them, that was already certain.

Their creator sat at his writing desk, pen in hand. Almost there.

The decision on who we are. Al...

For Chuchu's collab - names of varying kinds that have at one point or another been applied to me.

 

1. Natalie. Given name. My mum apparently named me after the act...

Stay low. Block. Punch. Again, quickly while they don't expect it. Draw their attention pulling back your right fist but punch with the left, that's it. They've left an opening - side step and p...

Go easy on me. This is an idea I've had for a while and writing isn't usually my thing. The formatting is a little odd as it is essentially a film without dialogue and I had some specific visual...