The boy wanted to become an astronaut, but he was afraid of heights. So, he became a diver instead. He dived into the ocean and made a wish upon the starfish.

When the sun rises each morning the birds cry out in warning. “Go back to bed,” they chirp. “Today is looking worse than yesterday.” But we don’t listen, for we onl...

The physician’s wife was told that an apple a day kept the doctor away.
Each evening she would eat two apples (just to be safe).
But much to her dismay, her husband still kept coming home.

The boy wanted to become an astronaut so he could wish upon the stars. But, he was afraid of heights. So, he became a diver instead and he wished upon the starfish.

I downloaded my memories onto my computer so that they could be photoshopped into something beautiful.

The dyslexic dog couldn't understand why everyone was worshipping him.
Sure, his coat was shiny and he was pretty good at fetch, but he wasn't that special.

Contrary to popular belief, seven never ate nine. He was framed.

[Contrary to popular belief, seven never eight nine. He was framed.]

I watched as the world burned and all I could think about was what would happen to our tiny stories that had yet to be told.

The element of surprise cried when he realised he wasn’t allowed on the Periodic Table.

The house cried when it heard that its inhabitants were moving. Yet no one wanted to buy it because of the water damage.

The kites that escape throughout the day turn into the stars that watch over us in the night.


The constellations that mesmerise the world are merely wayward kites trying to find th...

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”

“I do.”

And with that, the witness’ pants caught on fire.

When I was young the world was at my fingertips. Now that I’m older I can’t seem to grasp it anymore.