In 2001, I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease, an inflammatory bowel disease characterized by abdominal pain, weight loss, and shitting one's self in public.  Much of the year leading up to my eventual diagnosis was spent on toilets, seeking out the nearest toilets, and cursing people who would selfishly occupy the only toilets within my ass-clenching range.  This is a short screenplay (8 pages) with a comedic take on what a shitty year that was.