I came back from work, do you know what I found

Death lying on my couch, lazing around

He had unbuckled his pants and kicked off his shoes

He told me to go an...

Death opened his door and there on the stoop,

He found a most peculiar looking group

There was a monster, two ghosts, a vampire with pointy teeth,

They said t...

Death asked me to accompany him on a roller coaster ride,

He was scared to go alone, although many times he had tried.

While everyone else was screaming in delight,

I saw Death, he looked real stressed

He was battered and bruised, his robe was a mess

He said he'd been in an accident today

He'd been run over by a fat ...

I was at the window one dark and stormy night
Enjoying the rain, the sound and the light
A knock at the door, who could it be?
'Twas Death, he was scared, he wanted to stay with me

I came downstairs after a restful night

Death was drinking coffee, he didn't look right

For days, he said he had been unable to sleep

He kept seeing the faces...

One evening I had to hire Death to babysit for me

Didn't have a choice, no one else was free

I came home from dinner to a such a lovely sight

Death tucki...

I left Death at home to babysit our kids

We had two girls and a boy named Sid

From three doors down I could hear my babies cry

I ran home quickly to find out ...

I came home and when I opened the door

I saw a pile of dirty clothes on my living room floor

Upstairs, reading a book, Death was soaking in my tub

He tossed m...

When Death confessed that he had cheated on me,

He begged for forgiveness on bended knee

I was throwing things at him, wasn't listening to a word he said,

Dea...

Death was my date for my high school dance

He had pleaded with me to give him a chance

I relented, and was surprised to find

Death was a perfect gentleman, so...

Death was lying in his bed when he heard a strange sound

He switched on a light and looked all around

Things seemed alright, he figured it was just in his head

<...

Death spent hours gazing at the birds in the sky

Like them, how he wished he could fly

So Death became a pilot and was doing quite well

Only problem was he flew all...

The next time Death came to visit me

I offered him coffee instead of tea

He politely declined, said that coffee put him to sleep

And he still had his quota of...

Death went to the beach to have some fun

He stripped off his robe to soak in the sun

He splashed in the water oblivious to the crowd

Who pointed to a sign that said...

I wanted my relationship with Death to appear normal

So I asked him to be my date for the Fall Formal

He mingled with the other hitRECorders with my consent

...

Death was taking a stroll on Halloween night

Everywhere he looked he saw very strange sights

Monsters, witches and ghosts were zooming around in cars,

Death w...

A while ago Death had proposed to me

Holding a diamond ring, he went down on bended knee

Now as I walk down the aisle and see him at the altar in his suit

I can't h...

One day while looking at the birds in the sky

Death decided he too would give flying a try

But when he jumped from a branch, he fell and bumped his head

He th...

'Twas the night before Christmas

And before he went to bed,

Death strung tinsel around his house

In gold, green and red

 

He put ...

Death is a wonderful story teller

He reads me fairytales before I fall asleep

While kissing my forehead, he whispers a promise

That my soul he will not r...

Death misplaced some souls on a busy night

He looked everywhere but they were nowhere in sight

His perfect record he didn't want to taint 

So he went to ...

Death wanted a little songbird 

To sing for him day and night 

But whenever he went near 

The birds would drop dead in fright

 ...

Before I could blow out my candles , Death blew them out instead

He laughed so hysterically, while I turned brighter shades of red

I didn't give him any cake, he got...