Donuts are horribly made.

They always have holes in them.

A brave politician once demanded change.

So, someone passed him forty-four cents and that was that.

He never minded being alone in bed.

At least now he had the whole thing to myself.

There was once a writer who could never finish his stories.

The Koala bear fell in love with his cup of tea,

And the two spent some Koala-Tea time together.

I fell to sleep last night and had a dream.

In this dream, I was falling.

Before I hit the ground, I woke up,

But I didn't stop falling... I fell back to slee...

A Russian and a Roman met while travelling through the countryside.

The Roman taught the Russian how to enjoy nature's beauty and stop rushing.

The Russian taught the Rom...

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around,

Who gives it a band-aid and makes it all better?

Her kisses were like chocolate truffles,

Except that he actually enjoyed getting chocolate truffles.

He had broken her heart,

But she had broken his fridge.

They were about even.

Mugs do not have handles.

They just want to shake your hand.

The lonely cactus began to cry.

No one would hug him.

The unaware vampire thought he was ugly.

The members of the fridge gathered around the lifeless carton. All of a sudden, a particularly insensitive orange called out "No use crying!"

Putting aside their differences and deciding to work together, the two pirates entered the two-and-a-half legged race.

Two ambitious little cars once dreamt of becoming filmmakers. Determined to make this dream a reality, they took their cameras to the race track and made an indy-film.

The moon has to run away from the sun because cheese melts if it gets too hot.

Ku-ku-ka-cho, here's to you, Mrs. Walruson!

The waitress turned to me with a frightened look on her face. "Boysenberry?" she asked gravely. "I thought you said 'Poison-berry'..."

Of all the creatures of the sea, there is one that is more racist and prejudice than the rest. His name is Adolf-in the dolphin.

A little girl was once afraid of monsters under her bed, but she should have really been worried about the skeletons in her closet.

When I was younger, I always wanted to fit in.

I fit in now, but it's terribly boring.

Sometimes I talk to my shadow because I feel like he gets lonely.

I don't really know who I am, so that's why I pretend to be other people.

Every day I set out to be more productive than I was the last and every day I end up procrastinating.

Rainbows are the result of Leprechauns throwing up.

Little Jimmy never had a big Richard.

It is my considered opinion that we both get naked.

What is the sound of one hand clapping? A slap.

I'm not hungry enough to eat,

But I would love a little sweet treat.

This may be the Vicodin talking... But I freaking love Vicodin.

With a single look, she silenced the room,

And then she brightened it up with her smile.

She likes me, I don't like her.

I like her, she doesn't like me.

We both like each other, no one likes us.

Everyone likes us, we don't like anyone.

The thing with falling in love is that you'll usually scrape your knee.

No, no, it's alright. I'm just going to go hide away in a book now. Carry on.

The twinkling night sky winked at us with all of its stars.

And our bustling cities winked right back with their flashing lights.

"You are what you eat!" warned the giant piece of steak.

It seems that I'm either slapped or kissed.

Strangely enough, I'm always missed.

The band began to play,

And all of their troubles went away.

"Do you think you'll read The Raven again?"

"Nevermore."

The boy stared deeply into her eyes. Then he took a long look at the rest of her vowels.

Fathers teach their sons how to treat women.

Mothers teach their sons how to treat a lady.

She may be a total bitch... but she's very good at hiding it.

Very rarely can we see what we want until we've lost it.

Creativity never strikes the same place twice.

Whenever I forget a really good idea, I just try to convince myself that it wasn't really that great.

Long legs will get you places.

She must be a witch! Every time I see her I can feel some sort of dark magic in my pants!

My memory is horrible. Sometimes I can't even remember what I've forgotten.

It starts with a cute beginning,

Followed by an exciting middle,

And then a shitty ending.

There is certainly no denying the presence of a voluptuous posterier.

She is a match that can light the fuse in my heart and cause an explosion somewhere a little bit lower.

"I'll love you till the day I die," he said holding her in his arms.

"I'll love you till the day I'm reincarnated." she retorted.

I wake up just to go back to sleep.

Familiarity and Consistency were her best friends. They kept her comfortable when Changes had fucked something up.

The difference between school and real life is that in real life you teach yourself things that you actually want to know.

For him, writing was like masturbating: he did it best when it was silent and he was alone.

Soon, the young writer felt his creativity returning. There was so much he wanted to write about. It seemed like ideas were falling from the sky.

They knew the bunker wouldn't really protect them, but they didn't care.

It was so darn cozy down there.

"WHOOOOOOOOO!!" Owlbear roared, trying his best to sound like an owl.

The boy had no idea where he was going. He just wanted to ride his bike.

He thought he had seen it all. Then he found the internet.

Tea has to be my favorite letter.

Never write with your pants on. Pants limit your creativity.

When I look in the mirror, sometimes I see a young boy and other times I see an old man. And sometimes I even see myself.

Sometimes I feel like a mute writer with broken hands. I have all of these emotions inside of me, but I can't express any of them accurately.

The young couple didn't mind being quiet at the library. Their lips were too busy doing something else, anyway.

I've realised that these really are the best years of my life. If only everyone else would.

I've got about 60 years left on this Earth. I don't plan on wasting any time being angry at you.

The truth hurts, but the sooner you know it, the sooner you can fix it.