The Bearded Lady took a bow

Although she longed to curtsey,

The audience clapped louder now

And whistled without mercy.

She smi...

(written 6th September 2011, on the bus journey to work.)

‘Sorry. Actually no, I’m not sorry’

 The fact that this was said as a ...

AMNESIA

I’m trying to remember, but I think my name’s not Ben,
It could actually be Alice but I’ll have to think again.

Looking down I’ve got a...

...

This is planned to be a song- Kate Nash style... but I'm not really a singer.

When I bought it

I loved it

I hoped you’...

I feel the footsteps behind me fall

Into a rhythm too precise

To be those of wandering crowds

I’m being followed by ghosts,

The champagne flute longed to return to the orchestra.

But she was an alcoholic.

(An attempt to make the worst day of a guy's life vaguely humourous...)

Lisa Monroe, will you marry me?

So you claimed today

You can read me like a book?

What a claim to make

So you can read me like a book?

But you can’t read Japanese

So please,

Take a second look

At my thoughts I hid in Nihongo.

 ...

So you claimed today

You can read me like a book?

What a claim to make

Her elbow grazed my hand as she passed the mustard to Jenny.

I look, she blushes.

Charles (the quixotic buffoon) harrumphs and gives me a look of steely disapproval.

I saw the poster as I walked to work. Shining shoes on Napier Street. Shining shoes all day long. 

I WANT YOU FOR U.S. ARMY

Unc...