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Elaine Elizabeth Belz
- Oakland, CA
- Last Record: 2013-03-13 00:56:21 -0700
- Joined: Sep 03, 2010
- http://eebelz.blogspot...
Just kidding. It's actually an album for all my RECords relating to depression, manic depression, and mood disorders in any way.
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[Warning: this is about suicide and so may be triggering.]
Words matter. I've started replacing the phrase "commit suicide" with "die from suicide." It's a fatal outcome of an illness, N... |
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It took me until age 27 to finally seek treatment for depression. Turned out I'm bipolar type 2, which means I'm mostly depressive, with just a bit of "hypomania" with "mixed states" - basically... |
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And along comes an academic to say some silly things.
I love the color/saturation in this, and the way the buildings sort of fade into the sky. An interesting concept I've come across in... |
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Like many creative people, I have a mood disorder. This supplied me with an impetus to find expression for something that was essentially inexpressible: there was no reason for my extreme emotions,...
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THE MAD GIRL’S VICIOUS CYCLE
Caressing whitewashed cinder block, our mad girl grows cold, entombed in her own head. The cross around her neck hangs dumbly, lies lim... |
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It took me a long time to find the help I needed - I was 28 I think, or 29. The worst fucking thing about mental illness, and especially depression (I'm bipolar type 2, as they call it - very littl...
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Once upon a time, artists were artisans, craftspersons. Somehow they came to be considered artists, geniuses, people who worked under inspiration rather than the studious and dedicated application ...
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This is Blagh, my depression monster. If he's not copyrighted (?) and anyone can use him, let me know if you want any other angles and/or poses (and/or backdrops). He could even take on a life at hitRECord as a fictional character, Blagh the depression monster or something else. People who can draw could draw a monster based on him.
So here's his story IRL: Years ago, I had a really bad episode and my roommate called a supportive friend (Jim) who inexplicably brought me this. And they convinced me to go to the Psych emergency intake the next day. I named him Blagh (pronounced like "blog" but with a less rounded vowel, as in "blah") because that was an expression of frustration or exasperation. And there were no weblogs back then. ;)
Does anyone know what it is? I never asked. There are 2 holes on the back of his head which might mean there was something else (horns?) that got cut off.
Anyway, he looks scary, but he's really nice, especially when you're having one of those depression-on-speed bipolar "mixed" episodes, or you just miss your friend Jim.
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I remember better now. For a long time, I remembered only hating nature, and then remembering hating nature. Lying in a disused field of strawflowers, brittle, brown, and grey. Stari... |
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Someone I love deeply took some pills recently, but not enough to hurt her in the least. I know this from experience, because I've taken 4 or 5 times as much at several times in my life. I've go... |
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Elaine Elizabeth Belz
ART BRUT face in pillow pen on paper I convalesce |
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Elaine Elizabeth Belz by the bed, a light |
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I passed by, I stopped, I read, I took a photo, and yet I didn't do as it advised me to do. Oh well, there's always next time.
