Matthew used to think love was as easy as 3.14159, but Linda was rapidly proving him wrong. He loved Linda, sure, just like he loved his dog Einstein, but he loved mathematics the most. Linda ...

"You're too complex," said Pi.

"Don't be irrational," said i.

"Come on guys, be positive!" said 22/7.

"Oh look," said i grumpily, "the voice of reason."

...

he wants to build a time machine;

his mother asks him why.

he says: "you told me to reach for the stars,

so now i'm going to try."

 

What does it mean to be rational?

Fact: Two rational numbers can never be adjacent, as you will always find an irrational number between them.

Proposition: Two rational people...

there was a mirror in the girls' locker room.

everyday, multiple girls would stand in front of it, sneering or grimacing or glaring at it in disgust. "you're fat," they'd say to it, "yo...

When I was young I didn't know the difference between invisible and invincible,
but now I'm only too aware, because invisible is what I am and invincible is what I want to be.

-- it rolls. Down, down, down, crushing the dead earth in its path until it finally settles at the bottom of the steep mountain.

He feels defeated, crushed. Somewhe...

things spiraled rapidly out of control, but she liked to think they did so in accordance with φ(phi). it was a small comfort, but it was enough, for it left her feeling that her life, even as it w...

Just as your closet is filled with clothes and mine with skeletons, the Actor's closet is packed with roles. It is a cramped space with a seemingly infinite number of personas. Each one is arrang...

"I'm high," said the kite.

"I'm stoned," said the rock.

"I'm baked," said the cookie.

"I'm buzzed," said the bee.

"I'm plastered," said the glue.

she spent years sculpting a beautiful mask (one that never stopped smiling) and she wore it whenever and wherever she went (so that no one would see what lay beneath it). she wore it for so long t...

The Tyrannosaurus Rex, lovingly nicknamed "T-Rex," or "Big T" by his dino-peers, was a dinosaur found as early as 67 million years ago. Unlike popular culture today is so quick to suggest, the Tyr...

"sometimes," she said, "i feel so insignificant."

"that isn't true, i promise," he said, "just repeat after me: even if i'm the smallest star in the sky, my light still shines."

When the girl came out of her shell, she was the life of the party.

When the snail came out of his shell, he was a slimy slug.

When the turtle came out of his shell, he w...

 

on the eleventh second of the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month of the eleventh year, the...

with each breath we take, we give the REsurrection tree life
and it, in turn, breathes life back into us.

--
sometimes life gets to be so overwhelming that i forget to breathe,...

1. I was dropped on my head as a baby.
2. At age 6, I fell off a bike.
3. In high school, I was in a car accident.
4. My best friend died, and a part of me died with her.
5. Som...

one if by heart, and
two if by brain,
three if by both,
together again.

--
i don't know why, but whenever i hear the words "again by heart" this little rhyme pops int...

the t-rex didn't mean to be scary.
he was just upset he couldn't give any hugs.

A man stopped me on the street.
"Excuse me, do you have the time?"
"I wish," said I, "but there simply isn't enough of it."

-

B-side:

A man stopped me on ...

prompt for my writing class was: 513 words exactly (including title), hair, ceremony, carrots...



“Wake up.” You open your eyes and see Kaya, your best friend, hovering above...

My To-Do List consists of just: "write a To-Do List."

∀ x∈{♀,♂} ∃! y∈{♀,♂} ∍ x+y=♥

(For the mathematically challenged, this reads: "for all x in the set of human beings, there exists a unique y in the set of human beings such that x+y equal...

Prose, ack!: an antidepressant engineered specifically for poets.

(Side effects are accidental rhyme and
iambic pentameter all the time.)

They say one is the loneliest number,
but how does it feel to be zero?

People tell me I have no common sense.

I'd like to think I'm just one-of-a-kind.

As I tried to find the intersection of two lines, I couldn't help but think "what's the point?"

We were moving too fast,
so I gave him a speeding ticket.

I remember when I first learned integration by parts. Sitting in Calc class, I found myself thinking, "Now there's an oxymoron if I've ever seen one."

her life spiraled out of control, but even so, she knew it was invaluable, or as some would say... golden.





--
slightly condensed version... makes less sense ...

Said the little boy to his globe: "you mean the world to me."

Ponciferously, Madame Ballofur pawtipped past Sir Leopawld, who snufflated jubilatiously in his narcolapse, dreamagining an eatplate full of bleedy bunnybabies.

this christmas, i got you a snowflake
a little fractal piece of my heart
but when i held it out to you,
it was just a droplet of water; a tear
like the ones you cried as you wal...

statement: your life is fucking AWESOME.
proof (by induction):

(let n = 1)
TODAY is the first day of the rest of your life,
and it's going to be
AMAZING.

(...

The citizens of Procrasti-Nation turned frantically to their president.
"We need a tax reform!" they cried.
"Hold on," he said, "I'll do it later…"




--
al...

my heart is so full of love to give,
and the world is so full of people
i'll never get a chance to give it to.

right now,

there are

6,890,689,850

people in the world.

6,890,689,850 hearts

be...

today, my smart phone... outsmarted me.

the universe is made of atoms.

the universe is made of tiny stories.

thus, every teeny atomic structure is nothing more and nothing less than a tiny story, waiting to be ...

did you know every condemned vampire in history was merely an unlucky person whose shadow failed to report for duty?

The indoor shadow lives inside,

cast by a case of books.

During sunrise, he will crane his neck

to try and catch a look.

Alas, his efforts are in ...

 

WHAT ARE WE,

but two different sides of the same coin?

it's said that in relative comparison to the lifespan of the universe, i am but a blink of just one of its many eyes.

furthermore, i've reason to believe that in the grand scale of t...

 

"How are you?" they ask.

I'm terrible, she thinks, I'm sad I'm angry...

First, there was the Nothingspace.  ZERO waited inside of it, lonely and miserable, wishing for a friend.

if we stopped trying so hard to be happy, maybe we could be content.

 

 

 

 

 

"All I need is one hour of your day," said Daylight Savings Time.

"Absolutely not," said the little girl.  

"I'll pay you back in eight months."

"Fine," ...

pirates say "ARRR."

π-rates say "ARRRRCCOS(-1)."

 

--

... happy pi day...........

(arccos(-1) = π)

 

i'll only think inside the box

when i'm lying in my coffin;

now, i'll color outside the lines

and dream up new worlds to live...

since he kept everything he caught, the selfish shellfish didn't sell fish.

we fell in love, once;

but a heart in motion

will stay in motion,

and so my heart still beats

for you....

if you look closer at the ink blots between the words you write, you'll see that they, too, tell stories.

in a world without mirrors, i'd be a walking talking fashion terrorist… but i'd be happy.

 

 

--

inspired by a tweet from attilee...

inspiRE, aspiRE;

the world is entiRE

-ly mine, and yours,

and it never boREs,

so we'll wait, and see

When I was in third grade, I ran for a legislative position for the first and last time in my life.  It was purely by accident.  I imagine I was sitting innocently at my desk, doodling...

People might tell you that your head’s in the clouds,

But don’t let anything but gravity bring you down.

And, walk not in circles, but on Eulerian trails,

...

WARNING: the following is potentially triggering to anyone with an eating disorder or body image issues.  it is ...

i may wear my heart on my sleeve, but at least it is free, unlike yours, which lies trapped inside a (rib) cage.

sometimes the ocean wonders why nobody waves back.

(but it can't cry; it is already made of tears.)

each night, i dream we have wings

but are unable to fly;

penguins in an icy land

yearning to reach for the sky.

 

 

in a hot air balloon made from seaweed and starfish, the seahorse watched the ocean wave goodbye.

From the moment his mother named him, Pat the tick knew he was destined to suck.

MARCH 14, 2015 - Undisclosed pig farm, Wichita County, Kansas, US:

"Alright Billy, I think she's done."

"Just wait a goddamn cot...

Thunder may let Lightning come first, but would it pain him to hold off on the applause?

 

seriously though what kind of...

As I fell into the black hole, white noise filled my ears and the grey matter inside me began to fade away...

Realizing they were each one of a pair and yearning for their other halves, California, Michigan, and Lousiana declared themselves States of Emergency.

 

 

<...

"I'm dying."

"Of what?"

"Life."

 

--

I'm imagining a possible illustration for this could be a Medical Certificate of Death with ...

let's play pretend
until the end, 
whenever that will be.

we'll dress in gowns 
and dance around 
and jump into the sea.
...

Mathematics is a language all of us speak; some of us believe ourselves to be fluent, and others think they know not a word.  But in truth, we all have the ability to converse in mathematic...

it's been how many years?

yet it still feels like yesterday.

i write you letters, you know.

they're in a drawer in my room,

no one knows the taste of sadness

but i think it tastes like tears;

fractured dreams feed into madness,

neurons fi...

The first time I worked up the courage to admit to my parents that I had a problem, our conversation went something like this:

"I think I have some food…...

At the time of… The Incident, I was around 8 years of age, and spent so much time with my nose buried in books that I developed something of a reputation in our neighborhood.&n...

would you elude the illusion

and be disillusioned

or lose yourself inside

what becomes a delusion?

An immediate flaw in the idea of celebrities lies in the word "celebrity" itself. It would appear that whoever coined the term "celebrity" assumed that celebrity culture was something...

i want,

you want,

he wants,

she wants,

we want,

they want,

...

Yesterday, I came to the life-altering realization that LOVE is FINITE.

I know it's romantic to think love is INFINITE; that's what the movies say, the Hallmark...

as he sat in the rain with the girl he loved, he felt, under the weather.

The show's intermission begins, the lights go on. WOMAN sits alone in crowded theatre.

 

A MAN rushes into the theatre and sits next...

silence can be so loud

in the quiet of our rooms;

every heartbeat

like the booming of a drum.

Why are we taught that ABSTINENCE is the most effective method of CONTRACEPTION?

That's like learning the best method of keeping a HOUSE clean is not to LIVE in it.

 ...

A: "Morning, class. I trust you've all done last night's reading on circular motion. Please turn to page--"



B: "Centrifugal force is a lie!"



A: "Excuse me?"



Once there were two hikers -- no, not hikers, they were mountain climbers, oh, and rock climbers too -- and they went up this mountain, Mt. Everest you see, it was so cold, rea...

warning: this story involves drinking... and deriving

0)

“Thank God today’s math exam was easy.”

“Yeah seriously, I thought i...

I know I've seen that tree before -- its distinctive silhouette slices into the sky -- but where and when, for the life of me I can't remember.

I wake up. The rope around my neck is f...

i watch my life unfold through a camera lens; 

it goes in and out of focus.

only inside of my mind do the albums exist,

filled with the snapshot memories...

In my senior year of high school, I learned the meaning of the mathematical term fractal dust. Fractal dusts, as seen in the famous Mandelbrot set, are the small grains found in the per...

Like any other story, it begins.

You look up at the sky as the rain starts to come down and wonder to yourself when it will end. But endings, my friend, are hardly dependable, and ev...

i know exactly how this story ends,
and yet i keep turning the pages,
ignoring the stages (the ones i knew so well before;
denial, anger, loss, but never acceptance.)

"Hey buddy, what are you doing?"

"I'm making a list."

"Of what?"

"Well, I'm sure you're aware that recently the world became home to a new hybrid species, the...

The daily grind,

the nine-to-five,

serve to remind you

you're alive.

 

Your smile:

a simple curve from point A to point B. 

It should be unremarkable, 

and yet, somehow, ...

There’s a Cloud that covers our world like a heavy blanket; pretending to make life comfortable, instead it suffocates.

It isn’t the kind of cloud you’re thinking o...

I woke up, the boom of yet another explosion still ringing in my ears. You hovered over me, eyes wide with worry.

Looking up at you, I knew, somehow, that we were the last people rem...

My grandfather hated clocks.

Clocks, he said, were deceptive in their construction. They mapped time onto a circle, and told us that every hour, minute, second repeated itself once e...