Page 4: (five panels)

(see file for diagram of page layout)

Panel 1. (SHOT: from above, same as last panel, previous page, zoomed in) Derek has dropped the packaging to the floor, he holds a half-heart locket in his hands, but it is the entire heart, with two chains hanging down. Artist’s choice on appropriate locket, but keep in mind a picture needs to go in both halves, and neither of these characters are rich – choose a real pendant so the readers can relate by looking it up.

No Dialogue.

Panel 2. (SHOT: close up of Alyssa) Alyssa shows fear, worried that he might not like the gift)

No Dialogue.

Panel 3. (SHOT: close up on Derek) He is toying with her – his face shows doubt and it looks as if he is thinking about the right way to tell her the gift sucks. The shot is far enough out to show Delilah holding onto his shirt looking up at him, very worried.

No Dialogue.

Panel 4. (SHOT: From Door) Derek is smiling, and holding onto Alyssa’s hands – looking into her eyes with undying devotion. He is leaning in to kiss her. Alyssa looks relieved. The Locket hangs from it’s two chains between them. Delilah looks on and she also looks relieved. She has her hands clasped at her chest as if her eight-year-old heart almost exploded from the thought that the present wasn’t good enough.

DEREK: It’s perfect! Thanks!

ALYSSA: You really like it?

Panel 5. (SHOT: From Desk/Bed, eye level) Derek and Alyssa are locked in an embrace. Delilah looks like she wants them to hurry up and finish already.

DEREK: Of course I do – I love it as much as I love you.

MOM: (OP – from stairwell – small text) Derek, Alyssa, Delilah! Time for cake and ice cream. Hurry up before it melts!

Page 3: (four panels)

(Background: Its Derek’s birthday. He will need to explain that his aunt gave him the MP3 player, and this will be in a flashback. His telling of this tale sets the tone for the rest of the novel. What happens in reality is displayed in pictures and reality narrative, while the version of what he wants Alyssa to believe is displayed in his dialogue. These OFTEN contrast severely. The dialogue version will appear in Alyssa’s column, while our readers get to see and read what really happened. We do not make this obvious – we want the READER to figure out why there are two stories.)

Panel 1. (SHOT: close up of Derek over Alyssa’s right shoulder. Her face, right arm, and hair are visible in rear quartering profile (I envision that the left side of her body is cut off by the panel slightly and we can see a little space to the panel’s right that reveals some of the room). They have completed their kiss and have backed away slightly from each other; although Derek still has his hands on her hips, and Alyssa still has her arms on his shoulders – almost as if dancing. In his expression we can see he is thankful to have her, and that being around her makes him all warm and fuzzy inside. He doesn’t exactly have goo goo eyes though – more like relief and relaxation. And Love. His mouth is open to say…

DEREK: I was beginning to think you had forgotten.

Panel 2. (SHOT: from closet, adult eye level) Alyssa is reaching into her cloth shopping bag and we can see her extracting a wrapped present. She is slightly stooped over to do this and is just now looking up, into Derek’s eyes. Derek is looking on with mild anticipation, but Delilah is animatedly jumping around, excited.

ALYSSA: How could I forget? You’re the love of my life, and a person’s 18th birthday only comes around once in a lifetime!

DELILAH: I know what it is! I know what it is!

Panel 3: (SHOT: from ceiling at corner between window and door wall, angled). Both Derek’s and Alyssa’s hands are on the present, in exchange. Delilah is running all around the room (try to draw this), and is VERY excited. She is facing the camera now, and on the opposite side of Derek and Alyssa, staring at the present, clapping her hands – she is about eye-level with the present, and peers over it on her tip toes. Alyssa is all smiles, showing pride in her choice of presents, while Derek is slightly embarrassed at receiving a gift – only slightly though.

DEREK: You didn’t have to get me anything. You just being here is enough!

ALYSSA: I know I didn’t have to – I wanted to. You deserve…

DELILAH: Open it up already!

Panel 4: (SHOT: From about 1 foot over the heads of our cast, looking straight down between them.) We see the tops of Derek’s and Alyssa’s heads, cut off at the back by the panel boundaries. Center of focus is Derek’s hands ripping into the wrapping of the present. Delilah, who is looking up because this is now happening slightly above her, is jumping up to see. We can see the excitement on her face.

No Dialogue


Note - I still haven't decided what he gift is

The entire document is attached, but I only pasted page 2 here (diagrams of the page layout are in the attached document):

Page 2 (four panels)

Panel 1. (SHOT: from under desk against bed wall, eye-level with Derek) A look of embarrassed shock (not too exaggerated) overcomes Derek’s face. He is stuffing the underwear into the garbage can, and has the gray sweatpants in his right hand. Delilah is leaned over behind him still laughing, and Alyssa is standing beside her - her legs are visible, but her upper body is not. If the mirror is in this shot, the view of her back may show all of her – or whatever is appropriate due to perspective.

(Background: The mirror will become VERY important as this story progresses. In other worlds, this mirror allows Derek to peer into his room – into the real world. Other mirrors in the story allow the same thing. No matter WHICH world Derek is in, mirrors show the REAL world.)

(Background: The MP3 player is not in this shot and this is symbolic: whenever Derek is distracted completely by the physical world he looses his focus on his escape from that world. During times of extreme stress (this is not one of them) the MP3 player seems to glow and grow in its presence; the higher the stress or other emotion, the more present is the MP3 player. During down times of boredom, or when he is thinking about his problems, the same thing occurs. It is only when Derek is fully engaged in the physical world and not feeling overwhelmed that the MP3 player looses its presence. This will be a running theme throughout this story.)

DEREK: Alyssa! I didn’t know you were here. You don’t understand about the underwear. I meant that…

Panel 2. (SHOT: close-up of Alyssa, who is in center of room, facing the bed-wall). We can see the details of her face, and appreciate her internal and external beauty. She looks lovingly, understandingly, and compassionately at Derek, but still is grinning a little. He mouth is open to say…

ALYSSA: I know what you meant, Derek. I’m just kidding.

Panel 3. (SHOT: outside room, looking in – we can see the full door, and other details of the hallway - artist’s discretion according to the details provided of second floor in Page 1 description). Derek has stood up now, and Alyssa has grabbed both of his hands, at waist-level. They are in profile to us, facing each other, looking into each other’s eyes. They stand about 2 feet apart. Behind them, but clearly visible, Delilah is on her knees in the chair, which has spun to face slightly towards the closet wall – her hand is on the mouse. She is looking at the monitor. Derek still looks a little embarrassed while Alyssa is the vision of perfection when it comes to a supportive girlfriend.

ALYSSA: Come here and give me a kiss. I’m sorry for picking on you.

DEREK: You should be.

Panel 4: (SHOT: same angle as panel 3, only at the door now, or slightly inside the door.) Our loving couple are locked in a passionate embrace and kissing each other tenderly. Little sister, from her position in the chair at the desk, is looking at them with an expression of disgust.

DELILAH: Ee-yuw, yuck!

The attached is a zipped up document in RTF format and has proper formatting and a diagram. I have pasted the text here in case people cannot read the attached document, which is a complete 5-panel page one of the graphic novel. All you artists can get to work helping out now! WE APPRECIATE ALL WHO PITCH IN AND CONTRIBUTE!

______________________________
Dream Kid
Issue # 1
The Secret of the MP3 Player

Page One (five panels)

Panel1. (SHOT: from center of head-side of bed/desk - see http://www.ivgstores.com/IVG2/Y/ProductID-7363-Teens-Loft-Bunk-with-Desk-Drawers-Teen-Trends-Full-Size.htm , looking slightly down). 18-year-old Derek is located at the foot-side of the bed/desk, and leans towards his laptop (which is angled slightly away from Derek, so that the camera can see the screen), his left hand supports his left cheek with his elbow resting on the desk while, with his right hand as if groping in the dark (because he isn’t looking at where he is reaching), he reaches past his stack of High School homework, and past his 16 oz. energy drink, for his MP3 player, which is on the desk off to the right of his laptop (towards the camera) as he sits in his comfortable chair (see http://www.brookstone.com/reclining-executive-desk-chair.html?bkeid=compare%7Cmercent%7Cgooglebase%7Csearch&mr:trackingCode=DB39F426-EE8C-DE11-9EF7-0019B9C2BEFD&mr:referralID=NA ). With an overall look of deep-seated boredom, he is exhaling in exasperation at what his dreary eyes see on the monitor – which he is looking at. He is looking over the latest article published by his girlfriend on Yeehaw! News (celebrity section, fan update). The MP3 player has a mysterious glow about it and looms large in the shot due to exaggerated perspective (almost as if using a fish-eye lens, but not quite).

The room is fairly sparse. The entire second floor, save the bathroom, is carpeted in a dark color. The door to this room is open, and is centered along the wall opposite the bed / desk, and leads out into a small hallway which, in turn, leads to the stairs, the bathroom, and the other three bedrooms on this floor. The desk/bed is aligned along the wall opposite the door and the head side of the bed is along the wall with the window, and takes up a large part of the room. There are a few indeterminate posters on the wall, and an electric guitar plugged into an amplifier sits in the corner between the closet wall and the door wall collecting dust. Walls are eggshell white. A pile of clothes lies in the middle of the room along with a few empty cans of energy drinks, even though the room is equipped with a garbage can (located right under the desk) that is not full. A small TV with a DVR / DVD player and a video game make up part of an entertainment center in the room and is located in the corner formed by the window wall and the door wall – there is a full-length dressing mirror located half way between the door and the corner with the entertainment center. There is a closet on the wall at the foot of the bed/desk where most of the clothes and junk are kept, and also a dresser-drawer along the same wall as the door. His window overlooks the front yard from his second-floor bedroom, but the curtains are drawn, so we cannot see outside.

VISIBLE ON COMPUTER MONITOR, BUT FUZZY (pop out panel 2 shows this clearly):
Going out with his big big heart, loving like a child
he saw all the eyes looking down at him
people didn't value him.

DEREK SFX:
Hheehhh (that’s supposed to sound like an exhale of exasperation)

DEREK (thought)
…can’t keep this up forever can I? How do I tell her what’s really going on? How will I explain all the lies I’ve told her when I do?


Panel 2. Pop out panel zoomed into computer monitor showing more detail about the website Derek is looking at – his girlfriend’s entry (at least the three lines mentioned in Panel 1’s description – the two lines preceding these three, and the six that follow, are not readable) for this week is clearly visible in this panel, which overlaps panels 1and 3 like this (as a suggestion). Details of web page at artist’s discretion (maybe include a picture of the girlfriend, a by-line, etc…) as long as the three lines mentioned in Panel 1’s description are the focus:


No Dialogue


Panel 3. (SHOT: from door, eye level of Derek’s 8-year old-sister) Derek’s reaching hand has knocked over the energy drink and we see it still draining onto the carpeted floor below the desk. He has risen from his comfortable chair and is scrambling to grab some of the dirty clothes from the middle of the room. We see him stretching, bent over, and reaching for some of these with a look of panic on his face.

SFX: (burst) clack clunk!!!… bwhhh… swish swish swish

DELILAH (OP): ooooooh… you’re in trouble! You know what mom said about…


Panel 4. (SHOT: from Window) Derek is on his knees desperately and ineffectually focused on soaking up the spilled energy drink with his tidy-whitey (slightly dingy) underwear with his left hand while he reaches out to his sister with his right hand. His sister has already picked up a pair of gray (I’m American and that’s how it’s spelled in America) sweatpants to hand him. We see that his girlfriend, 19-year-old Alyssa Everheart, is standing in the doorway with her hand up to her mouth trying to hide that she obviously sees this situation as humorous. Derek doesn’t even turn around as he reaches behind him towards Delilah.

DEREK: Shut up and grab something for me to soak this up with. My underwear isn’t working!


Panel 5. (SHOT: from wall just behind MP3 player, desk-level). The MP3 player looms very large, but out of focus because it’s too close to the camera. We see Derek’s Left Hand on the desk, still holding his underwear, while the top of his head is in view. We can also see his back, and because of the mirror on the opposite wall, we can see the reflection of him still working on soaking up the spill. We also see that Alyssa has made her way into the room and stands next to Delilah. Delilah is slapping her knee and laughing. They look at each other and Alyssa is smiling with her mouth open to speak. Delilah can’t control herself, and her giggling turns into little girl laugher that fills the room

ALYSSA: (small) hee hee

DELILAH: (small) tee hee hee (burst) bwahhahh haa haaa!

ALYSSA: You’re underwear is clearly not working! Maybe you should switch to the more absorbent type.